Mystic Investigations Returning From North Pole

Mystic Polar JetWe just took off from Saint Nicholas International Airport to head back to Woodland Springs, Colorado. A few hours ago we attended a Midnight Mass service presided over by Father Christmas at St.Nickolaus’s Holy Church Of The Northern Light.  Our exorcist expert Father Tom Davis had the honor to partake of the final holy ceremony as well. Then Santa Claus held a farewell party at the banquet hall where most of us pigged out on every last sweet treat we could before having to return to normal reality where one can get sick from consuming so much junk food.  Another benefit of existing in the North Pole Village is no need to use the toilet.  You won’t find one toilet here what so ever!  The food, and beverages are some how magically digested to nothingness within our bodies.

Speaking of the banquet hall.  That is where the Claus Awards take place every year.  The Claus Award is the highest honor one can receive in the paranormal community.  Mystic Investigations had the honor of winning last year.  This year was a very special recipient.  Shala, The Queen Of Halloween, the Angel-Demon Hybrid whose identify was revealed at the First Battle Of Armageddon.   Despite being considered an abomination by both Angels, and Demons Santa has always worked to bring the various factions who fight for good together no matter what their lineage is.  Santa gave a speech at the ceremony speaking of Shala’s centuries of working to keep the forces of good, and evil in balance on the pivotal day of Halloween.  Santa has hoped Shala would show up so he could finally meet her after centuries of hiding, and abruptly leaving the Armageddon battlefield.

Unfortunately she has centuries of trust issues due to the forces of Heaven, and Hell always after her.  However she did get Santa’s psychic message, and sent a representative to accept the award for her.  The equivalent of her Chief Elf.  A previously unknown species of being which turned out to be a Leuprichaun, or a Leprechaun-Clurichaun Hybrid, named Zamxuzza.  He said a few words to the crowd, and prepared to vanish into a magical porthole with the trophy but our ever curious Demi-Zombie Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie luckily stopped him long enough to get this data.  He seemed intrigued by her stable zombie-human hybrid state, and indicated someday she might have a place in Shala’s Halloween Kingdom.

Debbie Powers, Grandmother of Zack Powers, managed to spend weeks at North Pole Village seemingly ignoring every sign that this place was seriously supernatural.  She explained everything away as coincidence, and special effects.  She is the only member of our entourage who knows nothing of the true existence of the supernatural world due to her mind not being able to handle the truth. This might be nearly impossible next year since Santa Claus secretly told me he might be able to bring Zack’s deceased parents home from Heaven for the holidays.  He had wanted to give Zack that gift this year but Santa was greatly weakened after the Anti-Claus attack at the First Battle Of Armageddon along with an assault by the Devil who nearly destroyed Christmas.  Santa wanted us to keep this secret so the knowledge wouldn’t waiver people’s faith in the Spirit Of Christmas.  Although the moratorium on the dissemination of this data has now been lifted by Father Christmas. I’ll write about what happened later on.

Most of us are going to sleep while we fly so we can get back to work Monday morning.  Although I feel wide awake still.  The vampire members of our group, including Drake Alexander, don’t need more than a few hours. Drake, and the others, are almost beet red from Christmas Star Burn as the Enochian Angel spell to protect them from the Star Of Bethlehem was nearly worn off. Any longer here, and they would have burst into unholy fire turning into ashes. As we exit the perimeter of the holiest city on Earth their nearly Angelic DNA, transformed by the Christmas Star, now reverts back to the demonic. Unfortunately when this happens they have an insatiable blood lust that’s comparable to when they first became vampires. That’s why we loaded the jet with a whole lot of human blood bought from a special blood bank catering to vampires.  Blood donated by humans with knowledge of the supernatural world.  The vampire blood bank is apart of the underground supernatural economy or black market known as the Black Bazaar.

Despite eating so much I have a hankering for some custard nog, and peppermint ice cream I got from North Pole Village. As I open the freezer I find the peppermint ice cream bandit Elf who had been punished for his gluttony by previously having to wear a dunce cap.  We stared silently at each other in shock as he stopped eating ice cream from the carton amid the dark icy freezer.  This is how I found him the first time in Mrs.Claus’s freezer at Claus Manor.  I then screamed his name,”Gerbet!”  He then hopped from the freezer, and went running into the dark shadows within the corridors of the dark jet while bellowing,”eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” in his hilarious Lilliputian voice.  Everyone on the jet ran to me as I said,”We got a crazy ice cream addicted Elf on board!”  Naturally the vampires, Drake, Duanna, and Meistiensos, were hot on the trail of this little stowaway.  Unfortunately Meistiensos, a powerful third generation vampire in recovery for his extremely violent blood lust, got hold of Gerbert, and sank his teeth into his green blood.  Elf blood increases power in vampires but should create some level of well being as well.  Drake, and Duanna pulled Meistiensos off the tiny fellow barely much more than 2 feet tall.

Meistiensos already has the power to fly via telekinesis, and at that moment he went a bit crazy crashing right through the hatch depressurizing the cabin!  While he flew off into the cold Arctic night Drake, who can’t fly, along with Zack Powers, Debbie Powers, and Rebecca Abernathy, our witch, were sucked into the dark polar skies.  Gerbert nearly rolled out as well but I grabbed him just in time.  I held little Gerbert the Elf as we looked out the hatch in horror while the emergency alarm bellowed loudly.  Ashley told me I have barely 5 minutes before I pass out, and in her capacity as a doctor ordered me to an oxygen mask.  I refused to comply until I saw everyone was okay.  I could barely hear Rebecca scream,”MYSTIC SPHERE!”  A pink transparent protective bubble of mystical energy formed around her.  She raced the mystical sphere to Debbie, and then Zack who were encapsulated inside.  It turned out that was the limit to what she could hold on board as she flew back up to the airplane.  Her sphere hovered through the hatch now missing a door.  Rebecca then motioned her sphere into the hatch opening sealing it up so the cabin could be re-pressurized.

Julia brought her Book Of Shadows to perform a spell to seal the hatch for the rest of the journey without taxing her active witchcraft power.  We were all worried about Drake but his vampire mother Duanna exclaimed,”My son can take a fall for 20,000 feet!  After all he survived the pure energy explosion of an extraterrestrial vessel including a fall from high in the atmosphere over Kentucky.”  I had forgotten about that, and felt a lot better about a simple non-explosive fall to the barren snow ridden landscape below.  There was nowhere to land the jet for hundreds of miles so we had no choice but to keep going.  I tried calling his cell phone but there wasn’t any reception.  Duanna then said she was psychically communicating with Drake as most closely related vampires can.  She said Drake hit the ice hard,and plunged into the Arctic Ocean.  He ended up crashing back up through the ice, and was walking south.  Until he heard sleigh bells ringing, and looked up in the sky to see Santa’s sleigh complete with nine reindeer, led by Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, flying down to him.  Santa gave Drake a ride back, and was flying beside our jet in no time.  Santa pointed his hand at the hatch as a beam of white light at Rebecca’s invisible witchcraft hatch barrier replacing it with an invisible Angelic barrier keeping things pressurized. Rebecca’s barrier wasn’t walk through.  The Demi-Angel then lined the red sleigh up with opening, and Drake walked in with Santa leaving the the reindeer on autopilot.

Santa Claus remarked,”I didn’t think I’d see you fine folks until next Christmas.  It seems we have a missing Elf on our hands.  Gerbert come out where ever you are!”  Gerbert slowly inched out from behind a leather seat.  His vampire neck wound had already supernaturally healed.  Santa reached down to scoop up the little Elf who was ordered by Santa to apologize for all the trouble he caused.  Gerbert finally uttered some English for the first time when he said,”Me sorry!”  I then replied,”That’s okay Gerbert we forgive you.”  Old Saint Nick bid us farewell, and he walked through the magical hatch barrier, and back on to his sleigh that flew away as he bellowed forth,”Ho ho ho Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!  While Santa shot across the skies in a blaze of shimmering lights the original hatch door magically reappeared completely intact.

We were all happy everything turned out okay until we saw Debbie Powers in the corner with her eyes frozen open in terror.  She was in some sort of catatonic state.  Clearly falling out of a plane, and witnessing all these blatant supernatural events mentally destroyed her as our psychic Julia Hathaway has always predicted.  Zack ran to his Grandmother in shock.  Just then I noticed a beautifully wrapped gift box near the hatch door.  The tag said,” To Debbie. From Santa”  I opened the box cover, and a stream of iridescent lights flashed forth making a bee line for Debbie.  It engulfed her body, and then faded.  She snapped out of her catatonia, and Zack helped her up.  Debbie then said,”Why are we all out of bed?”  Santa had thankfully wiped her memory of the events she found traumatic.

I guess I’ll lay off the ice cream for a while.  If I hadn’t opened that freezer none of this would have happened.  Gerbert probably would have sneaked off the plane when it landed, and that would have been the end of it.  Although I think I’ll have one last cup of egg nog…

Enchanted Christmas At North Pole Village

The Star Of Bethlehem At Santa Claus's North Pole VillageEvery Christmas since 2011 Mystic Investigations has the unique pleasure of spending Christmas at Santa Claus’s North Pole Village. Those deemed to have helped out humanity the most are invited to Santa’s Workshop as a reward for their sacrifices. Mystic Investigations has done a great deal to protect innocent people against the world of supernatural evil. Those at the top of the Nice List receive extra recognition at the Claus Awards Banquet. The highest honor is the coveted Claus Award Of Excellence In Deeds Of Goodness. This year the competition has never been greater along with the guests now here with us in the happiest, and most magical place on Earth! This is due to the First Battle Of Armageddon that brought together supernatural warriors from around the world looking to stop the resurrection of the Devil in biological form for the purposes of fathering the Anti-Christ. The Devil was resurrected but is now stuck in a human like form rather than a pure demon form which has thwarted the fathering of the Anti-Christ. However he now walks among us causing trouble as the Sorcerer Dimiti Diablo, the Devil’s enemy, now rules as King Of Hell. On positive note the Anti-Claus, Santa’s evil twin brother was absorbed into the Devil during the battle. So hopefully that means some light will shed upon the evil of Dark Christmas Day which comes the day after Christmas. Also no Anti-Claus to attack Santa as he makes his gift deliveries to the good folks in the supernatural community. Due to the Supernatural Secrecy Pact Santa Claus must rely on the Spirit Of Christmas to compel parents to give gifts in his name thereby creating good will, and aiding in the marshaling of the forces of good to counter all the evil built throughout the year.

People get to Santa’s magically cloaked polar village by mostly conventional means unless they have really amazing powers. Mystical portholes are frowned upon since they act as paranormal beacons for evil doers to locate, and infiltrate North Pole Village. Santa himself will only use portals in emergencies as he did on the battlefield of Armageddon in Kazakhstan recently. Despite being a Demi-Angel he uses his magical sleigh, and enchanted reindeer for travel most of the time. Although he can fly like Superman as well. A power all Demiangels have. The team here at Mystic Investigations took a private jet as usual. One owned by Duanna Sargon who is the vampire mother of our vampire associate Drake Alexander. No vampire was ever invited to Santa’s winter wonderland before those two. The great Claus had to create a special Enochian Angel spell to protect them from the holy light of The Star Of Bethlehem, direct light from Heaven, which shines overhead. Normally a vampire would burst into flames, and burn to ash within it’s light just as they would in the Sunlight. However under Santa’s spell exposed to the holiest of lights Drake, and Duanna’s DNA ascended from demonic to nearly angelic creating something like an angel vampire, or a quarter angel. Since vampires are somewhat like a quarter demon in nature. In addition Drake’s formerly evil vampire Grandfather Meistiensos is joining us. Santa agreed to let him come to help cleanse his soul of the violent demonic urges that surge through most vampires. Meistiensos being one of the most violent of them all. So much so that his vampire daughter Duanna had him locked away in a crypt for thousands of years until his escape in 2012.

As our private jet flew toward the North Pole thanks to the magical guidance of a cardboard invitation sitting in the cockpit the Star Of Bethlehem finally appeared in the dark yet colorful polar skies. We knew we were close, and within a minute we heard the humorous voice of a little Elf come over the speakers,”This is Saint Nicholas International Airport requesting you identify yourself.” We did, and the adorable little voice replied,”Thank you Mystic Investigations! You are now cleared to land on Runway Candy Cane. Welcome to North Pole City!” There was nothing but a flat desolate snow, and ice ridden landscape below that gave way to a mysterious fuzzy haze. Then all the sudden giant glacial walls appeared out of nowhere, and within were the glittering lights of the most enchanted community on Earth!

The last two years we were greeted by an Elf welcoming party who adorned us with festive aromatic wreaths around our necks. Naturally the little fellows no taller than 3 feet had to get on special stands to do this. This year however we were greeted by strikingly beautiful women who turned out to be Snow Nymphs, a species of Water Nymph. Nymphs being minor nature deities, and servants of the Earthly Gods, and Goddesses. These particular Snow Nymphs were under the command of Skaði, the Norse Goddess of Winter. Apparently Santa Claus has been trying to negotiate a truce between the Angels, and Earthly Gods who hate each other almost as much as they both hate demons. Santa is hoping to have more allies for the ultimate final battle of Armageddon. Skaði is one of the few not aligned with Zeus, and other Earthly God leaders. She agreed to a mutual exchange. Some snow Nymphs would come work for Santa, and some Elves would work for the Goddess Of Winter. The extremely mesmerizing Nymphs wore glittering white flowing gowns that fluttered about gracefully in the light wind, and shimmering snowflake wreathes amid their flowing blond shoulder length locks. Their hair, and skin shimmered as if it had a mostly white glitter on it but when looking at it from different angles it gave off an iridescent shimmer. They had ice blue eyes that would glow, and sparkle with tiny snow flake crystals when they were particularly emotional. The snow deities also had minty fresh cool breath which was realized when they kissed all of us on the checks as they put decorative evergreen wreathes around our necks just outside the airport.

People mostly walk around the Village but we were on the outer edges so we caught a large taxi sleigh pulled by four reindeer. Neither were apart of the famous nine who fly Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve. All 15 of us got into the green, and red sleigh including:

  1. President Xavier Remington (That’s me!)
  2. Executive Vice-President Drake Alexander (Vampire)
  3. Vice-President Rebecca Abernathy (White White & Demi-Mermaid)
  4. Associate Vice-President Psychic Julia Hathaway (Telekinetic Powers)
  5. Ghost Buster Robert Edmunds
  6. Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie (Demi-Zombie)
  7. Supernatural Technologist Zack Powers (Bionic Boy Wonder)
  8. Debbie Powers (Zack’s Grandmother)
  9. Soldier Hunter Jackson (Former Navy Seal)
  10. Investigator Elizabeth Weatherly
  11. Research Assistant Seth Morgan (Werewolf)
  12. Office Manager & Receptionist Barbara Gerber
  13. Father Thomas Davis (Catholic Priest)
  14. Duanna Sargon (Vampire)
  15. Meistiensos (Vampire)

Our newest member Seth Morgan, a werewolf, didn’t have any issues with the holy light of the Bethlehem Star since such things have little affect on human form Lycanthropes.  In addition our half zombie Ashley Abercrombie had no issues since zombies don’t have any demonic DNA.  Another issue was Debbie Powers who never came with us before as we have not let her in on the world of the supernatural due to our psychic Julia Hathaway having a vision of her going mental if she ever found out.  She doesn’t even know her Grandson Zack has superhuman bionic powers.  However we felt bad that she couldn’t come the last two years.  We spoke with Santa, and he said he does have exceptionally good humans outside the paranormal community visit.  He generally wipes their memory of North Pole Village for everyone’s protection.  He agreed to do the same for Debbie.  While here the soothing mystical atmosphere should keep her calm.  We’re going to see how long she buys that this is some Christmas amusement park with special holographic effects.  If she falls for that the entire time then the memory wipe won’t be necessary.

Everything here is nestled within peaceful Evergreen forests despite the North Pole being nothing but snow, and ice floating on the Arctic Ocean.  The Angelic magic of Santa created a mystical Christmas Island in the Arctic Ocean.  If you dig deep enough into the soil glittering with enchanted gold dust you will hit ice, and eventually ice cold sea water.  Our sleigh rode gingerly from the airport into a Pine forest lined with colorful Christmas lights to guide us down Candy Cane Lane.  And there was actually real candy canes hanging on the trees along  the way.  Light sparkling snow flakes fluttered about in a gentle breeze in what should be -24 degree Fahrenheit weather with windchill’s in the -50’s.  However within the enchanted confines of Santa’s winter wonderland it never feels colder than the 30’s.  Within the heart of the downtown it feels in the 40’s with very little snow on the cobble stone streets due to them being mystically heated. The skies are supernaturally spectacular!  Although it’s perpetually night during the Arctic winters it’s anything but dark, and I’m not talking about all the Christmas lights everywhere.  There are stars twinkling everywhere despite the brightness of the Star Of Bethlehem which is greater than a full Moon yet much less brighter than an afternoon Sun.  There are many shooting stars which are in fact Angels coming down to commune with Santa Claus, and also messages around the world being supernaturally directed at Saint Nicholas. The Aurora Borealis Northern Lights display a kaleidoscope of colors as well creating a light show you’ll never forget!

Candy Cane Lane takes us around the main village, and straight to Santa’s house known as Claus Manor.  We’ve been welcomed as his personal guests.  The snowy lane eventually merges with Saint Nicholas Boulevard.  We head north up the highest hill in town which not only has Santa’s manor at the peak but provides for the best skiing, snowboarding, and sledding.  In fact there’s a small ski resort nearby.  Looking back south we can see the tallest Christmas tree on Earth at the center of the village in the middle of the street where Saint Nicholas Boulevard intersects with Main Street.  Closer we can see the steeple of St.Nickolaus’s Holy Church Of The Northern Light where Santa himself gives sermons.  Father Tom is eager to do the same within the most holiest church in the world even trumping the Vatican.

We finally pull up in front of the stately Victorian Era mansion is adorned with Christmas lights galore, and get out of the sleigh after a pleasant ride. The Lilliputian Elf driver holds out his hand, and clears his throat.  There is a currency system here that utilizes Leprechauns gold coins.  Coins received as apart of a combined effort to spread good luck around the world.  The coins are also imbued with even more luck, and psychically cleansed by merely being in Santa’s domain.  When entering North Pole Village a certain amount of these coins are magically deposited into everyone’s pockets.  It utilizes the Naughty Or Nice List.  The Nicer someone is the more coins they have.  Kids tend to get more due to their innocence so it made sense that Zack Powers, the teenage member of our troop, would have his pockets bulging with lucky currency.  So I pointed to Zack, and he gave the Elf a gold coin which is worth well over $1000 in US currency.  Apparently the more coins an Elf collects the greater his luck, and his enchanted powers as well.  Thankfully though they’re not greedy, and are solely dedicated to the cause of Christmas in voluntary service to Santa Claus.  They also eventually have to donate their coins back to the Leprechauns to insure the cycle of good luck continues.

Santa Claus, his wife Holly, and his children Nicholas Jr., and Mary, both enjoying the longest childhoods in global history, exited the manor.  Running behind was Santa’s Dalmatian Sparky.  Santa smiled with good cheer as he heartily laughed,”Ho ho ho Merry Christmas Xavier, and the brave souls of Mystic Investigations!”  He shook all our hands, and greeted everyone.  Zack’s Grandmother Debbie remarked,”This amusement park resort is amazing!  I wonder why Disney World can’t create all these optical illusions?  And you sir are the most realistic Santa Claus I’ve ever seen!”  We all snickered as Santa replied,”Yes Ma’am I pride myself in creating a realistic Christmas experience for all my guests.”  We all entered the parlor where a blazing fire was roaring in the hearth hung with stockings, and a Christmas tree nearby.  Holly Claus went to the kitchen, and brought out a tray of egg nog.  God help me I absolutely love egg nog, and custard nog with a passion!  I quickly went to town on four glasses since nobody ever gets sick here.  Kids have been known to eat nothing but candy canes, and chocolates for a week without any ill results.  Afterward the kids showed us to our respective rooms upstairs.  In a way the manor is like a quaint bed, and breakfast.  We were all tired after dealing with cleansing our offices of cyber-demons, Christmas shopping, packing, and a 7 hour flight to the North Pole.  Most of us went right to sleep, and dreamed of sugar plum fairies along with all things enchanted by Christmas. They say the sweetest lucid dreams occur here.  That’s probably why I dreamed of that Snow Nymph I met at the airport!  Oh my!

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