The Christmas Adventures Of Fraggle The Enchanted Elf

Santa Sends His Best Elf To Run Mystic Investigations

The executive staff at Mystic Investigations works hard all year running the office, conducting paranormal research projects, and battling the forces of supernatural evil in the field. So we really look forward to our longest and most cherished of vacations every year. That being our surreal stay at Santa Claus’s winter wonderland. During our tremendous time at Old Saint Nick’s North Pole City amid Christmas 2017, we were given the option to have an Executive Elf man our supernatural post as it were. We happily took that option even though the peaceful Christmas season brings us the least paranormal cases. Still, we wanted someone with a measure of paranormal power to be here just in case things went south. Fraggle The Elf was sent to us here in Woodland Springs, Colorado by Santa Claus who is a powerful Demi-Angel force for good on Earth.  I, Xavier Remington, made Fraggle temporary Mystic Investigations President with full authority to run the business as he saw fit.  All our personnel are not fully aware of the wondrous world of the supernatural so we’ve only told them we’re going on a business trip up north. They believe Fraggle is my vertically challenged cousin.

We’d never met Fraggle at the North Pole on past visits because most of his work lies in the outside world. When we first met the little fella, who was barely 2′ 10″, we thought it would be best for him to change out of his tiny green Elf costume before meeting our non-executive employees who would not be traveling to the North Pole. Thankfully Santa had the foresight to send an adorable little business suit with Fraggle. Otherwise, we would have had to take him to a tailor, or a toddler store. LOL!  In addition, Santa gave him an Enochian Angel magic ear glamouring spell to hide his pointy elfin ears.  However at any point, he could appear in his Elf uniform with his real ears, and simply claim it was a costume to celebrate Christmas.

When we first introduced him to everyone the reactions ranged from snickers to slight shock.  I angrily intervened, and said,”Fraggle is family and a serious businessman! I expect you to give him the full respect you’ve shown me over the years!  I also hope you will not discriminate against him due to his vertically challenged status. Everyone should be aware that I’ve given him the authority to reprimand and even fire insubordinate personnel! Fraggle you have the floor, sir!”  Everyone had serious looks on their faces until he spoke in a voice that almost sounded like he’d sucked air from a helium balloon! Naturally quite a few people started laughing again. I immediately cleared my throat loudly, and it died down. Elves do have comical voices from our perspective. One employee whispered,”He sounds like Alvin the Chipmunk!” I glared at them and they fell silent staring at the floor.  Fraggle then said,”I’m honored to hold the position of Mystic Investigations President and I look forward to getting to know each, and every one of you during my short stay here. Together we will fight the nefarious forces of darkness, and help those in need. This I vow in the holy name of Saint Nicholas!  Are there any questions?”  One of our Administrative Assistants responded,”Oh gosh aren’t you just the cutest little thing ever!  May I please give you a hug?”  Fraggle replied,”You sure may sweet miss!”  She picked him up and hugged him. There were some snickers again but I let it pass as the little fella let out gleeful giggles while in the beautiful woman’s arms. His face snuggled sweetly in her ample bosoms!

I showed the enchanted Elf around the office and offered to let him stay at the home of Senior Vice-President Rebecca Abernathy, and I. Our home is known as Remington Manor. However, he said he would make a cozy blanket nest under my desk where he would be working.  As the executive staff and I walked out the front of Mystic Investigations headquarters Fraggle held a mug of eggnog in one hand.  I can assure you it was the tiniest mug you’ve ever seen!  It had a photo of the real Santa Claus and Mrs.Claus on it.  I shook his hand goodbye with one of my fingers, and we all left for the airport.  As we were driving away I saw him hopping up several times trying to reach the door handle.  Splashes of eggnog were flying out of his mug, and then someone opened the door causing him to fall to the snowy ground spilling it all over his business suit.  I was thinking,”Oh my God please let Mystic Investigations exist when I get back!”

The Elf Suit Cleaning Fiasco

Unfortunately, Fraggle only had the one suit so he quickly ran to the restroom as a few employees stared at the Lilliputian scurrying about with eggnog splatters dripping down him.  Once in the supposed privacy of the restroom, he took the footstool out from under the sink. We put one in every bathroom and in other places as well so the elegant elf could reach things with dignity.  Fraggle climbed on the counter and filled a sink with warm water after capping the drain. He then took some Christmasy stuff out of his pockets before taking off his entire suit, shirt, and tie that he then plunged into the sink.  He was left wearing nothing but his bright red socks speckled with white snowflakes and dark green leather shoes since Elves don’t wear underwear.  One of the contents of his pockets was a small vile of water with a cross and Santa’s face on it.  It was, in fact, holy water blessed by Santa himself. Certainly, water blessed by a half-Angel Saint would be extremely powerful.  He dumped it in with the rest of the water, and recited a holy incantation,”By the power vested in me by Saint Nicholas I hereby bless this vessel of water, and everything in it pure as the wind driven snow.”  There was a brief flash of bright white light! When it fell dim the suit was miraculously clean without even a trace of eggnog in the water.

Fraggle had his suit hanging by the electric hand dryer while he still stood clothing free on the counter admiring his elfish form in the mirror. He pressed the button to the turn the machine on and then pranced and danced up and down the counter hopping over sinks while singing “Jingle Bells“. Every so often he would tap the auto off dryer to keep it going. He was having quite a grand time engulfed in the enchantment of the Christmas Spirit until he was interrupted. A female client walked in the unisex lobby restroom with no lock on it. Both she and the Elf froze in shock for a moment with eyes locked in disbelief. Suddenly she ran out screaming,”Oh my God there’s a naked munchkin in the bathroom!”  Fraggle was so startled that he leaped right into the ceiling puncturing a hole that caused plaster to rain about. All along he was bellowing,”Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Fortunately, Elves have superhuman abilities and he wasn’t hurt.

The client fled the building and our Receptionist cautiously crept into the restroom to see what was going on. She had seen Fraggle go in there and quietly said,”Ah Mr. Fraggle are you in here? Is everything okay sir?” Fraggle was hiding behind a toilet in one of the stalls trying to calm himself down after the unexpected scare. He remained silent after the Receptionist repeatedly called out to him. Then he finally muttered,”I’m peachy keen. I’ll be out in flash. Please put an Out Of Order sign on the door before you dash.” She did and Fraggle ended up taking a relaxing dip in the cool toilet while his suit finished drying. Thankfully Elves can’t catch diseases so he had nothing to fear from his toilet bowl diving. There’s also the fact that we have high tech toilets that steam clean themselves with a bleach solution. Minutes later he strolled out wearing his crisp clean suit with pride. Pride that fell short when he couldn’t reach the elevator button and then proceeded to crawl up the steps to my office on the second floor.

Fraggle Greets Santa Claus On His Christmas Deliveries

On Christmas Eve little Fraggle went to my home at Remington Manor to make sure all was well. Decked out in his green elf costume he lit the hearth and Christmas tree with great care before strolling about the house while saying a prayer. As Midnight approached he dove into the hearth without any hint of a burn! The enchanted elf scaled the chimney at super speed and stood on the slick icy roof without concern. There he awaited the arrival of Old Saint Nick. Sure enough, the sound of sleigh bells ringing caused him to jump up and down with glee. Unfortunately, he lost his footing and began to slide down the roof of the three-story mansion. As he reached the roof’s edge he landed right into Santa’s sleigh pulled by nine enchanted reindeer. They landed on my roof as Santa asked, “Merry Christmas my sweet little Elf! Is all going well?” Fraggle replied,”Yes Santa! The Mystic Investigations team will return to find their business in tip-top shape!” Santa responded,”Excellent! I knew I could count on you to make me proud Fraggle! I already gave Xavier and Rebecca their gifts at the North Pole but here’s one for you!”  The elated elf excitedly ripped open his gift as the two helper elves in the sleigh looked on with smiling faces.  It was a new bottle of holy water and a packet of Tide Pods. Santa then said,”Silly Elf holy water is for serious situations! And always find a place with a locked door before disrobing!” Fraggle nodded in agreement as everyone giggled. Santa Claus is the closest thing to a physical God on Earth as he really does see all! That is how he creates his Naughty And Nice List!

Fraggle bid Santa farewell as his sleigh flew to the next house. Back down the chimney, the elated elf went. He sat by the Christmas tree and warm fireplace for an hour before putting the flames out and leaving the manor. He headed back toward downtown and Mystic Investigations headquarters as it began to lightly snow. He ran across a homeless man scavenging through a dumpster. Fraggle tugged on his coat as the scruffy bearded middle-aged man looked down with surprise at the little Elf who said,”May the Spirit Of Christmas dwell in your heart and bring you luck in the New Year, my good sir!” He then handed the man a handful of pure gold coins engraved with the image of Saint Nicholas and the Capitol building at North Pole City. They were legal tender there and were derived from Leprechaun gold. The man was elated as tears of joy welled up in his eyes. He eagerly thanked the little fella and even picked him up to give him a hug. The tiny elf chuckled and then scurried off once he was put back on the ground. Behind him, his left his cute tiny footprints and a trail of lucky Elf Dust. It turns out that the coins were easily worth over $8000 but the luck imbued upon them was priceless. Our Psychic Julia Hathaway saw the mans future. Twelve years from now he becomes a millionaire business owner who heavily donates to help the homeless!

The Copy Machine Incident

The day after Christmas the copy machine began spitting out paper everywhere. Because of the holidays it was going to take time to get a repairman out. Fraggle told the employees he would get the job done. As one of Santa’s Elves, he was an expert at building and fixing all kinds of things. An hour later the entire copy machine was strewn across the floor in over 100 parts!  A guy from our IT department we recently hired came in and said,”What in the blue Hell!” Fraggle then covered his ears,”You said the H word!” Put 25 cents in the swear jar!” Yes, Fraggle put a swear jar in the lobby and had ordered no filthy language to be spoken. The IT guy laughed and said,”Hell isn’t a swear word pal! Man, you totally wrecked the copy machine, you little idiot!”  Fraggle stood up with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face,”Listen, buddy, I’m trying to figure out how this giant camera machine works. By the power of Frosty The Snowman, I’ll fix this thingamajig! Also, I regret to inform you that you’re fired!” The man angrily replied,”You can’t fire me, runt! Only his almighty Lordship Xavier Remington can! I’m going back to work!”

He started walking away cackling like a smart ass until Fraggle grabbed his leg and dragged him through the building at super speed right out the front door! The man was shocked as he rested on the snowy parking lot rather dizzy and disoriented. Fraggle then said,”This hurts me more than it hurts you, buddy! You don’t have the Spirit Of Christmas in your heart. I know when you’ve been naughty and when you’ve been nice. Let me just say you’ve been very naughty here and outside of work as well. What you do to those women you meet at the taverns is atrocious!”  The guy responded,”What the f**k! You been spying on me you little bastard!?!” Suddenly Fraggle’s face turned beet red as steam literally came out of his tiny ears that popped back to being pointed. He screamed,”Oh pooping peppermint barks I banish you from this property! Be gone you despicable Devil!” The man chuckled and said,”Hey screw you you little s**t!” Fraggle bending on one knee lifted the man up and firmly placed him upon his knee as best he could. He began spanking him while bellowing,”You naughty boy! Naughty! NAUGHTY!”  The man yelled,”What the hell are you doing!” He was helpless against the Elf’s super strength while Fraggle yelled,”Stop swearing or I’ll wash your mouth out with Santa soap!”

Soon a crowd of employees gathered behind him. Fraggle turned around and was mortified at the spectacle he created. He let the guy go and he immediately ran away to his car crying before speeding away. Fraggle then silently re-entered the building and kept a low profile the rest of the day. Thankfully he spent the night putting the copy machine back together and it was working perfectly the next morning. In fact, it miraculously created 3-D images when it doesn’t have that capability! Also for the record, I was already on the verge of firing that IT guy due to his performance and how he treated others with disdain.

Enchanted Elf vs Nasty Gnome

A few days later things got busy and a family called about a Gnome taking up residence in their basement. He refused to leave and kept trying to break through the door at the top of the steps. He loudly screeched he wanted to eat their kids! That is what Gnome’s do after all. Nobody else was available so Fraggle went to the house. He marched in with full Elf gear on as he confidently claimed all would be well. The family was worried the minute man would be eaten alive by the monstrous little Gnome in the basement.  Fraggle cautiously walked down the creaky steps into the dark basement that smelled of minty tobacco. Most Gnomes smoke a mystical mint….To Be Continued Before Christmas…Little Fraggle also dealt with a Werewolf on the New Year’s 2018 Supermoon along with a demon worshiping biker gang that stormed Mystic Investigations headquarters!

From Santa Claus To Slenderman

Xavier Remington, President Of Mystic Investigations here! It’s been a long time since I wrote in this blog as we are very busy battling the forces of darkness. I guess I feel like I have to tell a complete story of our supernatural adventures and so end up putting it off. Perhaps a few paragraphs every so often will do? That being said I’m almost done with the story of Fraggle The Elf. He took over as President here and ran things when most of us Executives were away on our annual vacation retreat to the Demi-Angel Santa Claus’s North Pole City. Certainly a treat for many of us in the paranormal know. Santa is nice enough to give visitors the option to have Elves take over their supernatural operations. While gone from late December 2017 to early January 2018 the fantastic Fraggle took over. Here is the first two paragraphs of his story:

Fraggle The ElfThe executive staff of Mystic Investigations work hard all year running the office, conducting paranormal research projects, and battling the forces of supernatural evil in the field. So we look forward to our longest and most cherished of vacations every year. That being our surreal stay at the Santa Claus’s winter wonderland. During our tremendous time at Santa’s North Pole City amid the 2017 Christmas season, we were given the option to have an Elf man our supernatural post as it were. We happily took that option even though the Christmas season brings us the least paranormal cases. Still, we wanted someone with some level of paranormal power to be here just in case things got crazy. Fraggle The Elf was sent to us here in Woodland Springs, Colorado by Santa Claus who is a powerful Demi-Angel force for good on Earth  I, Xavier Remington, made Fraggle temporary Mystic Investigations President with full authority to run the business as he saw fit.  All our personnel are not fully aware of the wondrous world of the supernatural so we’ve only told them we’re going on a business trip up north. They believe Fraggle is my vertically challenged cousin.

We’d never met Fraggle at the North Pole before because most of his work lies in the outside world. When we first met the little fella, who was barely 2′ 10″, we thought it would be best for him to change out of his tiny green Elf costume before meeting our non-executive employees who would not be traveling to the North Pole. Thankfully, Santa had the foresight to send an adorable little business suit with Fraggle. Otherwise, we would have had to take him to a tailor, or a toddler store. LOL!  In addition, Santa gave him a glamouring spell to hide his pointy ears.  However, at any point, he could appear in his Elf uniform with his ears, and simply claim it was a costume to celebrate Christmas…….I’ll try and complete this story before next Christmas. LOL!

North Pole City Christmas Vacation – December 21, 2017 To January 5th, 2018
Ever since 2011 we’ve relished in taking a break from fighting paranormal evil by delving into the winter wonderland of the worlds Christmas Capitol. A place where your worries wash away and you feel like a kid again. To an extent the outside world fades away just as being at the North Pole does once you leave. I get the most serene sleep and have the most delightful dreams there!

Once again we were nominated for the prestigious Claus Awards that honors those who risk their lives to help others in need. Nominees get to stay at Claus Manor with Santa, Mrs.Claus, and his two kids. We ultimately didn’t win the award but one simply cannot be disappointed to eat every meal at a table with the Claus family, Elves, winter nymphs, intelligent speaking penguins, and stuffed animals come to life! Not to mention you can eat everything in sight without any health or weight issues. I chugged 20 gallons of eggnog and ate a good 14 gallons of ice cream! Some of which was eaten with my little buddy Gerbert The Elf. He is, of course, the notorious Peppermint Ice Cream Bandit at the North Pole!

We later entered the Christmas Elf Snowball Fight. Each team has one elf on it since an all Elf team would always win a snowball fight. I got pelted in the head a few times but it didn’t hurt since you can’t experience pain here. It was just a pleasant tingling sensation. I’ve actually seen people punching each other in the face and laughing like crazy. LOL! Anyway Mystic Investigations came in third place even with a vampire on our team. That being Executive VP Drake Alexander. While in this holy place he reverts to a Angel like vampire form. When we returned home everything was in order thanks to Fraggle The Elf. Other Mentions Of North Pole City

Super Blue Blood Moon Eclipse – January 31st, 2018
The Super Blue Moon Eclipse transmuted to a rare Violet Moon which ended up turning anything unholy to ash if basking within the holy light. So our battles with Werewolves were minimal and those in direct moonlight died. We went around town at dawn contacting known werewolves to see if it was they who perished. We at least brought closure to a few families who got the bad news. Our very own vampire Exec VP Drake Alexander nearly turned to ash as he spontaneously burst into unholy flames. Our resident witch Senior VP Rebecca Abernathy acted quickly to cast a shielding spell as we rushed him to safety! Luckily the Violet Moon amped up her own magical powers. Drake has fully recovered from his near death experience. Our own werewolf Seth Morgan was locked away safely in a cage at Mystic Investigations headquarters. This is the responsible thing for all werewolves to do on Full Moon nights! For their own well being and that of everyone else.

Additional Story About A Battle With The Plague Doctor On Valentines Day!

Fifth Annual International Para-Con – February 21-February 28, 2018
This years secret International Paranormal Investigators Conference was in Moscow, Russia. It’s a place for most of us in the real paranormal community to compare notes and devise strategies to defeat the forces of darkness in preparation for Armageddon. Many of us gave speeches and demonstrations on the latest supernatural sleuthing techniques while learning from others ourselves. There was a surprise visit by President Vladimir Putin. He’s well aware of the secret supernatural world and was deeply interested during the hour he spent at the conference. We spoke to him briefly but our vampire team member Drake Alexander had a more extensive private conversation with him. Apparently, they know each other from way back in the day. It’s also interesting to note Putin always travels with his personal Wizard Fyodor. Perhaps that is how he’s retained power for so long?

While there we came across Slenderman in the Khimki Forest. He was actually sabotaging the controversial highway that cuts through the forest as it caused the loss of many trees. Slender loves hiding in the woods and feels most at home there. So naturally, he is for saving the environment. Probably the evil entities only redeeming quality next to his decent treatment of children despite kidnapping them for their unique metaphysical energy! If not for these despicable kidnappings we would have left him to it but we had to attempt capture. Capture rather than extermination as there are alternate dimensional forces who sentenced him here to live rather than be executed. These forces have strong anti-death protection on him!

Either Slender Man was low on paranormal power or wasn’t in the mood to play because he kept evading us! Certainly, we caused harm to him before. Slender easily shapeshifted to hide behind trees and all manner of foliage. He had us running around the dark woods all night and into the morning like fools. Thankfully, we must have worn him out because we saw a flash of light indicating he teleported away. Our Psychic Julia Hathaway said he was long gone!

What Did Mystic Investigations Do On Easter April Fools Day?

Mystic Investigations Returning From North Pole

Mystic Polar JetWe just took off from Saint Nicholas International Airport to head back to Woodland Springs, Colorado. A few hours ago we attended a Midnight Mass service presided over by Father Christmas at St.Nickolaus’s Holy Church Of The Northern Light.  Our exorcist expert Father Tom Davis had the honor to partake of the final holy ceremony as well. Then Santa Claus held a farewell party at the banquet hall where most of us pigged out on every last sweet treat we could before having to return to normal reality where one can get sick from consuming so much junk food.  Another benefit of existing in the North Pole Village is no need to use the toilet.  You won’t find one toilet here what so ever!  The food, and beverages are some how magically digested to nothingness within our bodies.

Speaking of the banquet hall.  That is where the Claus Awards take place every year.  The Claus Award is the highest honor one can receive in the paranormal community.  Mystic Investigations had the honor of winning last year.  This year was a very special recipient.  Shala, The Queen Of Halloween, the Angel-Demon Hybrid whose identify was revealed at the First Battle Of Armageddon.   Despite being considered an abomination by both Angels, and Demons Santa has always worked to bring the various factions who fight for good together no matter what their lineage is.  Santa gave a speech at the ceremony speaking of Shala’s centuries of working to keep the forces of good, and evil in balance on the pivotal day of Halloween.  Santa has hoped Shala would show up so he could finally meet her after centuries of hiding, and abruptly leaving the Armageddon battlefield.

Unfortunately she has centuries of trust issues due to the forces of Heaven, and Hell always after her.  However she did get Santa’s psychic message, and sent a representative to accept the award for her.  The equivalent of her Chief Elf.  A previously unknown species of being which turned out to be a Leuprichaun, or a Leprechaun-Clurichaun Hybrid, named Zamxuzza.  He said a few words to the crowd, and prepared to vanish into a magical porthole with the trophy but our ever curious Demi-Zombie Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie luckily stopped him long enough to get this data.  He seemed intrigued by her stable zombie-human hybrid state, and indicated someday she might have a place in Shala’s Halloween Kingdom.

Debbie Powers, Grandmother of Zack Powers, managed to spend weeks at North Pole Village seemingly ignoring every sign that this place was seriously supernatural.  She explained everything away as coincidence, and special effects.  She is the only member of our entourage who knows nothing of the true existence of the supernatural world due to her mind not being able to handle the truth. This might be nearly impossible next year since Santa Claus secretly told me he might be able to bring Zack’s deceased parents home from Heaven for the holidays.  He had wanted to give Zack that gift this year but Santa was greatly weakened after the Anti-Claus attack at the First Battle Of Armageddon along with an assault by the Devil who nearly destroyed Christmas.  Santa wanted us to keep this secret so the knowledge wouldn’t waiver people’s faith in the Spirit Of Christmas.  Although the moratorium on the dissemination of this data has now been lifted by Father Christmas. I’ll write about what happened later on.

Most of us are going to sleep while we fly so we can get back to work Monday morning.  Although I feel wide awake still.  The vampire members of our group, including Drake Alexander, don’t need more than a few hours. Drake, and the others, are almost beet red from Christmas Star Burn as the Enochian Angel spell to protect them from the Star Of Bethlehem was nearly worn off. Any longer here, and they would have burst into unholy fire turning into ashes. As we exit the perimeter of the holiest city on Earth their nearly Angelic DNA, transformed by the Christmas Star, now reverts back to the demonic. Unfortunately when this happens they have an insatiable blood lust that’s comparable to when they first became vampires. That’s why we loaded the jet with a whole lot of human blood bought from a special blood bank catering to vampires.  Blood donated by humans with knowledge of the supernatural world.  The vampire blood bank is apart of the underground supernatural economy or black market known as the Black Bazaar.

Despite eating so much I have a hankering for some custard nog, and peppermint ice cream I got from North Pole Village. As I open the freezer I find the peppermint ice cream bandit Elf who had been punished for his gluttony by previously having to wear a dunce cap.  We stared silently at each other in shock as he stopped eating ice cream from the carton amid the dark icy freezer.  This is how I found him the first time in Mrs.Claus’s freezer at Claus Manor.  I then screamed his name,”Gerbet!”  He then hopped from the freezer, and went running into the dark shadows within the corridors of the dark jet while bellowing,”eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” in his hilarious Lilliputian voice.  Everyone on the jet ran to me as I said,”We got a crazy ice cream addicted Elf on board!”  Naturally the vampires, Drake, Duanna, and Meistiensos, were hot on the trail of this little stowaway.  Unfortunately Meistiensos, a powerful third generation vampire in recovery for his extremely violent blood lust, got hold of Gerbert, and sank his teeth into his green blood.  Elf blood increases power in vampires but should create some level of well being as well.  Drake, and Duanna pulled Meistiensos off the tiny fellow barely much more than 2 feet tall.

Meistiensos already has the power to fly via telekinesis, and at that moment he went a bit crazy crashing right through the hatch depressurizing the cabin!  While he flew off into the cold Arctic night Drake, who can’t fly, along with Zack Powers, Debbie Powers, and Rebecca Abernathy, our witch, were sucked into the dark polar skies.  Gerbert nearly rolled out as well but I grabbed him just in time.  I held little Gerbert the Elf as we looked out the hatch in horror while the emergency alarm bellowed loudly.  Ashley told me I have barely 5 minutes before I pass out, and in her capacity as a doctor ordered me to an oxygen mask.  I refused to comply until I saw everyone was okay.  I could barely hear Rebecca scream,”MYSTIC SPHERE!”  A pink transparent protective bubble of mystical energy formed around her.  She raced the mystical sphere to Debbie, and then Zack who were encapsulated inside.  It turned out that was the limit to what she could hold on board as she flew back up to the airplane.  Her sphere hovered through the hatch now missing a door.  Rebecca then motioned her sphere into the hatch opening sealing it up so the cabin could be re-pressurized.

Julia brought her Book Of Shadows to perform a spell to seal the hatch for the rest of the journey without taxing her active witchcraft power.  We were all worried about Drake but his vampire mother Duanna exclaimed,”My son can take a fall for 20,000 feet!  After all he survived the pure energy explosion of an extraterrestrial vessel including a fall from high in the atmosphere over Kentucky.”  I had forgotten about that, and felt a lot better about a simple non-explosive fall to the barren snow ridden landscape below.  There was nowhere to land the jet for hundreds of miles so we had no choice but to keep going.  I tried calling his cell phone but there wasn’t any reception.  Duanna then said she was psychically communicating with Drake as most closely related vampires can.  She said Drake hit the ice hard,and plunged into the Arctic Ocean.  He ended up crashing back up through the ice, and was walking south.  Until he heard sleigh bells ringing, and looked up in the sky to see Santa’s sleigh complete with nine reindeer, led by Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, flying down to him.  Santa gave Drake a ride back, and was flying beside our jet in no time.  Santa pointed his hand at the hatch as a beam of white light at Rebecca’s invisible witchcraft hatch barrier replacing it with an invisible Angelic barrier keeping things pressurized. Rebecca’s barrier wasn’t walk through.  The Demi-Angel then lined the red sleigh up with opening, and Drake walked in with Santa leaving the the reindeer on autopilot.

Santa Claus remarked,”I didn’t think I’d see you fine folks until next Christmas.  It seems we have a missing Elf on our hands.  Gerbert come out where ever you are!”  Gerbert slowly inched out from behind a leather seat.  His vampire neck wound had already supernaturally healed.  Santa reached down to scoop up the little Elf who was ordered by Santa to apologize for all the trouble he caused.  Gerbert finally uttered some English for the first time when he said,”Me sorry!”  I then replied,”That’s okay Gerbert we forgive you.”  Old Saint Nick bid us farewell, and he walked through the magical hatch barrier, and back on to his sleigh that flew away as he bellowed forth,”Ho ho ho Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!  While Santa shot across the skies in a blaze of shimmering lights the original hatch door magically reappeared completely intact.

We were all happy everything turned out okay until we saw Debbie Powers in the corner with her eyes frozen open in terror.  She was in some sort of catatonic state.  Clearly falling out of a plane, and witnessing all these blatant supernatural events mentally destroyed her as our psychic Julia Hathaway has always predicted.  Zack ran to his Grandmother in shock.  Just then I noticed a beautifully wrapped gift box near the hatch door.  The tag said,” To Debbie. From Santa”  I opened the box cover, and a stream of iridescent lights flashed forth making a bee line for Debbie.  It engulfed her body, and then faded.  She snapped out of her catatonia, and Zack helped her up.  Debbie then said,”Why are we all out of bed?”  Santa had thankfully wiped her memory of the events she found traumatic.

I guess I’ll lay off the ice cream for a while.  If I hadn’t opened that freezer none of this would have happened.  Gerbert probably would have sneaked off the plane when it landed, and that would have been the end of it.  Although I think I’ll have one last cup of egg nog…