Living Dead Alert! Zombie Warning!

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The recent Witch Watch has been canceled due to a coven of evil witches being thwarted by the team at Mystic Investigations.  Unfortunately they raised a number of dead people who became Zombies.  The majority of this zombie army has been neutralized but there are still reports of lone zombies afoot.  We urge people to stay indoors and securely lock yourself inside.  If you must got out then go out in groups as Zombies look for lone prey to feed upon.  And of course stay away from cemeteries and mortuaries.  Anywhere the dead reside is a danger at this time since there might still be after effects of the Witch Covens spell.

They crave human flesh and will stop at nothing to get it.  If you spot a Zombie we urge you to run in the other direction and contact the appropriate authorities.  If there’s no escape then hitting them with a blunt instrument or shooting them with a gun will easily rip their putrid rotting flesh apart.  However don’t let their apparent fragility lull you into a relaxed state.  They do posses super human strength and powerful jaws.  If you’re bitten please head to an emergency room immediately since you are most likely infected with the Zombie Virus which will eventually transform you into a mindless living dead entity.

The various watches and warnings concerning werewolves, and vampires have subsided yet we still urge caution when going out at night.

Gnome activity has greatly decreased due to them being eaten by all the werewolves, vampires, and zombies.  However we still recommend keeping a close eye on your children near forested areas.

Poltergeist activity is still high although steering clear of cemeteries and abandoned buildings is all you really need to do in order to avoid the ghostly dangers.

Luckily we had no reports of fatalities during Trick O Treating and all kids got through the night safely. Although there were some injuries among adults who had the misfortune of dealing with some of the forces of paranormal evil this Halloween season.

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