Gobbler Ghoul Watch

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The odd paranormal being known as the Gobbler Ghoul first became known in 2011 when a remote turkey farm became ground zero for a new breed of ghouls.  A nefarious farmer severely mistreated his turkeys causing them to cannibalize their fellow turkey kind.  Cannibalization in humans leads to one becoming a ghoul. However in animals this usually doesn’t occur.  Despite this the surviving group of gobblers became a very disturbing breed of ghastly ghoul never seen before. The grisly Gobbler Ghoul was most likely created due to the farmer practicing black magic in an effort to increase the size of the turkeys for the purposes of petty profits.

As with all ghouls they only crave the dead flesh of their own species which means they really want your Thanksgiving turkey, and they’ll do anything to get it!  They destroyed the black magic farmer who stood in the way of their escape and they’ll horrifically eradicate any person, or animal, that stands in the way of getting their sharp claws into your scrumptious Thanksgiving dinner!  In particular be sure to keep a close eye on your dogs and cats as they may be the first target of this terrifying turkey of torment. Although members of the paranormal community fought to exterminate this macabre menace they are very speedy, strong, and elusive in nature.  One aspect of the dark magic is the fact that they only come out on Thanksgiving.  The rest of the year they hide away in a dormant state.  A good number were destroyed by supernatural hunters while the Gobbler Ghouls lie in this motionless state. Often found in dense bushes bordering farmlands.

The Gobbler Ghouls have a sinister demon like intelligence, glowing red eyes, and razor sharp claws! They even walk upright on their hind legs with amazing ease!  These monstrous mistakes of magic make the classic “gobble gobble” turkey sound except it’s more guttural and echoing in nature.  The bellow of this blasphemous beast will definitely send a chill up your spine! They loathe sunlight so Thanksgiving morning and evening is the most dangerous time but they still could crash through your window during the day to devour your turkey and maim anyone at the table.  Especially if your house is in a wooded area providing plenty of shadowy shade. We recommend having a Priest bless your turkey as religious artifacts (holy water, crosses, etc) will work to repel the Ghoul to some extent due to the demonic aspect of the dark magic which created them.  Unfortunately, these methods are not guaranteed to work since their DNA isn’t truly demonic in nature.  Have an ax near the table so you can try to behead the beast.  That and incineration in fire are the only sure ways to destroy this diabolical Thanksgiving threat. You could always shove it in a stove to cook for dinner. Unfortunately the meat tastes rather wretched and the side effect are unknown! Despite this we hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Personal Eye Witness Account Of The Gobbler Ghoul

By Xavier Remington, Mystic Investigations President & Rebecca Abernathy Vice-President

Rebecca and I are in Washington Island, Wisconsin for Thanksgiving. As usual supernatural trouble seems to find us. We heard the unholy call of the Gobbler Ghoul, a monstrous turkey mutated by black magic, and cannibalism. So naturally, we ran into the woods headed toward the direction of the guttural gobbling. We spotted him, and he spotted us. Normally you’d think an animal would run away from humans. Well, this blasphemous bird practically growled at us with eyes glowing red as it sped toward us in a bipedal fashion. This tiny terrifying terror is about as close as one would get to seeing a turkey man. He wildly swung his claws at us while I held him at bay with a holy water squirt gun. Unfortunately, it only seemed to only annoy him more than harm him. Rebecca tried to use her Faunapathic Powers in the hopes of capturing him as our Cryptozoologist Ashley would love to have a live specimen to study. The ghastly Gobbler’s mind was too intelligent for any type of mind control as it gobbled loudly in a rage.

I continued distracting it as Rebecca ran ahead and cast a special spell upon a placid pond. I then ran away causing the ghoul to give chase. Rebecca and I swam to the middle of the pond and the ghoul followed us in since turkeys are actually great swimmers! However before he could get to us he was frozen in place by Rebecca’s spell that made the water within a certain radius from us turn to an odd solid material that wasn’t ice. The gobbler was beyond angry and kept grunting, growling, and struggling to get free. We exited the other side of the pond and I ran to get a cage. We captured the angry creature and transported him back to Mystic Investigations Headquarters in Woodland Springs, Colorado.🦃

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