Frankenstein Warning


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There has been a noticeable increase in Frankenstein activity in the United States after the 2012 Presidential election.  We believe this may be in response to the potential threat of Constitutional rights being usurped along with worries of economic collapse.   Thousands have been buying up guns, and calling for secession but those who wield the power of magic, or mad secret sciences have turned toward animating custom made bodies created from random body parts collected from morgues, graves, and even live victims.  These misguided individuals want their own personal body guards, or even armies of the risen dead as protection against a tyrannical government.  Unfortunately Frankenstein’s can be quite unpredictable.  One minute they’re docile, and child like.  Then the next reflects their horrific appearance as they turn violently monstrous.

These mammoth monsters are usually at least 7 feet tall with skin that can be green, gray, or bright white in nature.  Their sewn on body parts are usually evident.  It’s not easy for them to blend into society so they stick out like a sore thumb.  This makes it easier to avoid them.  If you spot a walking pile of grotesque body parts then call your nearest paranormal investigations firm.  If the Frankenstein attacks you then prepare to defend yourself in a manner similar to zombie attacks.  However remember that the Frankenstein may be stronger yet have the same awkward drunken stagger as a zombie.  Also Frankie’s aren’t out to eat flesh.  They just might mindlessly kill for no reason, or by the bidding of their creator.  The best way to deal with a rampaging Frankie is to scare it away with fire.  In fact you might hear it declare, “Fire bad!” as it staggers away.  If they still try to attack you then behead it, light it ablaze, or deliver a massive electrical jolt to arrest it’s heart, and brain activity.  Electricity gave it life, and electricity can take it away.  When wielding a sharp implement against this science experiment gone wrong remember that it’s flesh isn’t rotting like zombies so it won’t be as easy to slice.  In addition like zombies religious artifacts have no effect. Be on alert 24-7 because the Freaky Franken can withstand sunlight!

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