2017 has gifted us with two Friday The 13th’s. One in January, and another in October just in time for Halloween. The fabled Friday The 13th spawns global Paraskevidekatriaphobia, aka the fear of Friday The 13th, along with Triskaidekaphobia, fear of the number 13 itself. These fears foment into a sub-conscious spirit within the human collective consciousness causing increased bad luck, and dark metaphysical energies. Thankfully like many spontaneous spirits created by the human collective thought process, it’s not a conscious sentient entity. However there are nefarious forces of darkness who would love to breath life into the sinister spirit thereby creating a dangerous God! Certainly a pure sapient manifestation of dark luck would be a frightening force to be reckoned with! Unfortunately this massive manifestation of dark energy will be used by nefarious black magic masters to propel their poisonous agenda forth! The dark luck energies will also produce metaphysical maelstroms substantially powering up ghosts, poltergeists, demons, and a variety of other evil entities. Spontaneous or magically induced Zombie resurrections will also be a pressing issue! Expect ever increasing displays of paranormal activity as Friday The 13th progresses. However it’s expected that the Witching Hour through the Devil’s Hour on Friday morning will present the most dangerous activity! Lingering effects may be felt into Saturdays hours of diabolical damnation as well!
Friday The 13th Werewolf Warning!
Unfortunately the Spirit Of Friday The 13th will mingle malevolently with the dark side of the Halloween Spirit to substantially increase the perplexing plethora of paranormal pandemonium! Certainly also an increase in your odds of running across a streak of bad luck. This along with the enchanted energies of the recent Blood-Harvest Moon will cause Werewolves to transform despite the Moon being below 50% of full. Generally only a Full Moon of 80% or more will cause monstrous transmutations. Don’t forget that Halloween Night is usually the only time Werewolves will transform without a Full Moon in play.
Dark Leprechauns & Nasty Gnomes Will Be Afoot
Clurichauns, aka Anti-Leprechauns, feed off the dark luck running rampant throughout the 13th! These monstrous Leprechauns of darkness feed off people’s insecurities as they cause mayhem wherever they can! They will be on the look out for the weak willed down on their luck people who will eagerly accept their dark deals. Deals of damnation that will find them in a world of lowly luck hurt later down the line. Never make a deal with a Dark Leprechaun, or any being who claims to be a Leprechaun. Leprechauns generally avoid humans so odds are its a Clurichaun! Also beware of these dark little Devils compelling Gnomes to attack you, and your children! October is already a high impact Gnome month to begin with! If faced with a Clurichaun, or any bad luck threat, be sure to contact a local practitioner of magic, or Summon A Leprechaun.
Friday The 13th Demon Specter
Another cause for concern are the rumors swirling about that various powerful factions of evil are attempting to resurrect The Friday The 13th Demon Specter from the Underworld, aka physical deep Earth Hell. This specialty demon operated free of the Devil’s unholy Hell regime, and fed off paraskevidekatriaphobia, the number 13 in general, and a variety of other frights & anxieties. He was banished there after Mystic Investigations very own witch Rebecca Abernathy lured him into the powerful hands of the Norse Gods Odin, Thor, and Frigga in February of 2015. The Demon Specter is being held in the Norse Hell Dimension of the Underworld under the guard of Hel, daughter of the Norse God Loki, along with other Norse deities. With the Demon now helpless, and at the mercy of Earthly Gods, he has lost his free terror agent status. So he would be beholden to whoever could manage to release him. Naturally a plethora of dark magical practitioners are clamouring to free him, and use his powers for their own despicable ends! If he should be freed then it’s open season on anyone in a fearful state!
The biggest news is that this is the third Friday The 13th since the resurrection of the deeply dangerous denizen of darkness Jason Voorhees! A real metaphysical menace portrayed as frightening fiction in the Friday The 13th movie franchise to deflect any truth of his reality from the public. Jason was merely a dark spirit after having his physical form destroyed by the world famous supernatural warrior team known as The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s. Then on November 13, 2015 The Jason Voorhees Cult managed to resurrect him back into this world! Since last year’s Friday The 13th there have been sparse sightings of Jason across the continental United States. It’s thought he is quite powerful at this point due to amping up his dark powers over the past Summer Camp season. He does love sacrificing those crazy hormonal teens romping about woodland lakes on warm Summer nights! His Voorhees Cult led him to several Summer Camps near a lakes so Jason could swim in a smorgasbord of terrified teen blood! As usual the government covers it up to avoid public panic. The infamous May 13, 2016 paranormal blood bath would put a variety of known terror events to shame if the mainstream media reported it! We can only pray that some supernatural crime fighting organization, such as Mystic Investigations, eventually stops this elusive serial killer! The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s were the last group to stop him, and they are currently scattered across the country looking for Jason as we speak!
If you spot any strange activity from Midnight to 4 AM or so on the morning of Friday The 13th at an abandoned Summer Camp by a lake then contact your nearest paranormal investigations firm or powerful practitioner of magic. If you can’t locate anyone then go ahead, and dial 911. While on the phone with the Operator have the first words from your mouth be “PDA” as in the US Paranormal Defense Agency. Since all phone calls are being monitored in real time by the NSA they will hear that, and immediately relay the recorded call to the top secret branch of the US Defense Agency that deals with supernatural threats. The 911 Operator will be puzzled that your call was dropped along with all your data being wiped clean from their computer systems!
Jason Voorhees is on the US Government’s Most Wanted Supernatural Beings List. Hopefully they can at least do something to reduce the bloody carnage. Generally red tape, bloated bureaucracies, and misinformation plague the US PDA. However it’s better than the local authorities who are ill equipped to deal with such murderous metaphysical matters! If you spot anyone in a hockey mask then don’t assume it’s a Halloween costume. Run the other way, and never look back!
A New Friday The 13th Player For The Forces Of Good?
Despite all this threatening nefarious news there is a new force of good trying to reshape Friday The 13th into something positive! Certainly we have good witches out there attempting to call upon Gods & Goddesses of Friday, such as the Norse Goddess Frigga, for the purposes of battling all the languishing luck. Leprechauns are also being drawn into the frightening Friday frey spreading good luck as best they can. Certainly we recommend lucky charms, and positive thinking to aid in your survival of the 13th. However a more jovial yet mischievous force, somewhat akin to The April Fool, made her debut on May 13, 2016. Our investigations have revealed that she is a human born with a paranormal gene that absorbs bad luck. She may have also been born at exactly Midnight on Friday The 13th thereby making her immune to many of the unlucky perils of the day. Apparently she’s a stand-up comic who always enjoyed pranking people as a kid. Now her mission is to marshal dark luck into something hilarious as she goes around embarrassing people with her pranks, and jokes. You can help out her quest to create a new Spirit Of Friday The 13th by perpetuating good natured pranks as well!
If you fall prey to her, or someone else, then try to laugh about it to keep things positive rather than getting angry. Don’t be the one who fuels a dark entities insatiable appetite for negative energy! She still hasn’t come up with an official name for herself since she is rather elusive, and hasn’t given any interviews. However she appears to be going with one of two names. Either The Friday Fool or The Friday The 13 Fool? Hopefully she can go about her business without being attacked by any evil entities! It seems she hasn’t gone up against any evil she couldn’t handle during past Friday The 13th’s. We truly hope she doesn’t visit us since we’re already still embarrassed by The April Fool’s tomfoolery perpetrated upon us on April 1, 2017!
On this Halloween seasons Friday Of 13th we recommend staying indoors, or at least not deviating from your normal routine. However steer clear of crowded public venues, and big parties that attract various vexing beings such as vampires. If you’re a Friday night party timer you should give it rest on this night. Also stay away from remote rural areas, and cemeteries. Again there is the potential for paranormal parties of a sinister sort! Always have some lucky charm in hand whether at home, or out, and about. Certainly don’t go out between 12:00-4:00 AM! And ironically playing Friday The 13th: The Game, or watching as many Friday The 13th movies as you can so as to acclimate, and embrace the terrific terrors that could possibly befall you. It’s always better to be prepared than to be horribly surprised, and frozen in fear!