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Topics - Xavier Remington

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General Discussions / Quora.Com Are Idiots
« on: June 13, 2015, 04:08:05 PM »
We will no longer be contributing to their site via due to the same level of jackassery as witnessed at Answers.Com.  Basically weasel like non-believers harassing contributions like little nanny state informants! Rebecca, our witch, has placed a curse on them. May God have mercy on their sad souls!


Poor little rich girl wanted to be a rebel but she doesn't want to pay the price of supporting herself.  She refused to obey her parents request to dump her troublesome boyfriend, who most likely corrupted her to begin with, since she had been suspended from school twice recently. She also apparently had no interest in doing chores or keeping curfew.  So she moved in with some friends but decided to sue her parents for child support, college tuition, lawyers fees, etc.  Thankfully the judge refused her ridiculous requests for now.  Hopefully she never wins any court case, and is forced to work at McDonald's.  Perhaps her boyfriend should support her since he seems to be the source of the trouble here.  If anyone won such a case then it would mean all parents would have to support their kids forever!  And then what about the kids children?  Would parents be responsible for grandchildren, and future generations until their grave?  It's sad how kids see their parents as the center of their world early on but eventually toss them aside for friends, and boyfriends/girlfriends.  Oh the rabid excitement of their peer group has such a wonderful brainwashing effect!

Mystic Investigations News / We're Leaving February 13th, 2014 For Paris
« on: February 11, 2014, 06:51:11 PM »
We'll be ending work early to pack, and prepare for our flight to Paris, France for the First Annual International Paranormal Investigators Conference which begins on February 14th, 2014.  We had originally contemplated taking a cruise ship but we couldn't justify all that travel time which would be vacation time.  Especially after our long recent vacation at the North Pole.

I'm Xavier Remington President of Mystic Investigations.  We're proud to announce the promotion of Drake Alexander from Senior Vice-President to Executive Vice-President in light of the former Executive VP Michael Remington being lost in time somewhere.  He left instructions that Drake was to be promoted if he didn't return in a certain length of time.  In addition all along I've held voting rights to Michael's stock in our company by proxy.   Our psychic Julia Hathaway says Michael is doing fine but she can't pinpoint his temporal location.

General Discussions / Wiki Answers User Stormish Is A Jackass!
« on: September 05, 2013, 04:12:46 AM »
He goes around changing my answers to nothing is real, and everything is fictional.  Clearly people who are asking a paranormal question don't want this pathetic blanket answer or some crap about supernatural beings in fictional literature, and movies.  If he loves the science category so much then why not stay in it.  That's why I hate Wiki Answers.  With Yahoo Answers at least the answer can't be edited by some egghead puke!  Although you still get people on there saying said being isn't real.  Why do they waste their time?  I suppose their smug answers make them feel superior until a Werewolf ravages their rank rear!  Also oddly enough he's a supervisor in the My Little Pony category:  Infer what you want from that.  LOL!

Feel free to edit his answers if you wish to have some fun:

Future jackasses who go with the "nothing is real" mantra will be listed here as well! Speaking of which his buddy C Hainsaw is also a loser:

Law / Secrets Bad Cops Don't Want You To Know
« on: July 26, 2013, 05:46:50 PM »
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What every citizen should know about the law especially when it comes to traffic stops.

Health / The Earth Is Being Geoengineered
« on: April 05, 2013, 02:03:30 PM »
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Politics / Proof President Obama Is Not The Anti-Christ
« on: April 04, 2013, 04:32:32 PM »
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A supernatural being like the Anti-Christ would clearly make every shot.  Although he might miss one to throw off suspicion of him being supernatural.  Missing 20 would go way beyond that purpose, and would be implausible for a guy with such a huge ego whether he be merely Obama, or the Anti-Christ.  We believe Obama perhaps made a deal with a demon to gain political power, or he is merely trying to please his New World Order masters who are in bed with demons.  Bad luck would easily befall such a person which would explain this embarrassment along with the flies who always seem to hound him.

Politics / Obama Wants To Deport Christian Family For Home Schooling
« on: March 11, 2013, 02:14:12 PM »
Actually we're talking about a Christian German family that applied for political asylum due to the German government threatening to take their kids away because they believe in home schooling.  The German regime demands all kids go to their brainwashing schools.  A US immigration court granted them asylum, and the family moved here, and bought a farm in the smokey mountains. Apparently Obama got wind of this, and said it shouldn't count as political asylum.  Meanwhile he releases tons of illegals for no reason what so ever.  The governments of the world do not like independent people, and those who choose to live outside the establishment system.  They certainly care not for parents having any say in their children's lives.

A freak blizzard rolled into Woodland Springs the other day, and five Abominable Snowmen crashed through the walls, and windows in a daring daylight attack.  Abominable Snowmen are loners, and it's unheard of for them to be in packs.  They also usually only focus on a single human prey.  I've never heard of them crashing into an office building, and going nuts like this!  Clearly this was an orchestrated event, and someone had the Snowmen under their control.  We had people screaming, and scrambling everywhere!  Drake, and Rebecca took out two of them while Hunter, and I another.  Julia, and Rob nearly lost their lives to one but Drake flew in to save the day.  Zack Powers was caught off guard in another part of the building, and was barely holding the blood thirsty albino beast off him with his bionic strength. Rebecca got to him in the nick of time as the metal inside his arms started to bend. 

After the battle was over the entire place was in a shambles.  Rebecca then said,"I'm so sick of this crap!  Let's go on a vacation somewhere far away!"  Drake then told us he has a vacation home in Hawaii.  I mean how many homes does this guy have?  Over the years he's mentioned at least 14 homes but I guess you collect a lot after being alive for seven centuries.  We all flew there on Duanna's private jet with her, and Father Tom.  Zack's Grandma, who he lives with, came as well.  For the rest of the week Mystic Investigations is closed while repairs are being done, and we lounge on the beaches enjoying sun, sand, and surf.  Even Drake, and Duanna will be in the sun thanks to Abominable Snowman blood.  Ingesting Gnome blood has been one of the few things that allow a vampire in the sun but we also tested the legend of using Abominable Snowman blood as sun screen for vampires.  It actually worked but they can only stay in the sun for a few hours before re-application is needed.  They also need to apply it to every square inch of skin other wise it will start of a flame bursting episode! Luckily we collected a giant five gallon bucket of the stuff!  ingesting it causes violent uncontrollable rampages in vampires which is why Drake never bit into any of the Snowmen.  So we've been in Hawaii for a while, and everyone's having a great time on Drake's private white sandy beach near Honolulu.  Naturally Rebecca, and Duanna are frolicking about with nothing on what so ever.  Zack's going crazy because his Grandma covered his eyes, and took him inside.  They then left with a tour group.  In a few days we'll be going to Duanna's vacation home near Hilo.  She's got even more vacation homes than Drake!  We just wanted to let you know what was going on if you don't hear from us until next week.

If you can't find any information on a particular supernatural being then let us know so we can write about it for you.

Health / Would You Like Some Aspartame In Your Milk?
« on: February 26, 2013, 04:11:27 AM »
Or any of your dairy products for that matter.  There's already enough crap in the non-organic stuff.  Do we really need more toxic chemicals?  What would be the point of adding aspartame to anything when it isn't replacing any sweeteners to begin with?  Or it this a Diet Juice kind of thing.  Remove the natural sugars, and replace it with this vile tasting crud!  Dear corporatist bastards take your Asspartame, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!  If you smell what the Xavier is cooking!

Read about the next round of poisoning perpetuated upon an unsuspecting American populace full of fools:

It's now common place for the Feds to raid raw milk farmers, and distributors using armed force.  Even the Amish aren't safe anymore.  In Woodland Springs, and the greater Comanche County Colorado area we don't play that bull.  Our Constitutional loving Sheriff Blake Maverick has halted many such raids, and has given Federal officials a stern warning that they are not welcome in Comanche County unless they are enforcing laws specifically stated in the US Constitution.  Those of us here at Mystic Investigations who enjoy dairy products always go with raw organic from local farmers here in Woodland Springs.  It's the one food you can get ultra fresh year round.

Our very own Drake Alexander was out for a drive just after dusk one night when he saw a raid going down at a local farm.  He immediately called the Sheriff since the sneaky Devils had entered the county stealthy.  Drake then got out, and beat the ever loving hell out of them as the wholesome farm family cheered with glee since the Feds had just gotten through trashing their house.  He then hypnotized them with his vampire powers to forget it ever happened.  The Sheriff showed up, and took the illegal Federal aliens, aka non-citizens of Comanche County, to the edge of the County.  He instructed them to never come back again!  As volunteer Deputy Sheriffs all of us at Mystic Investigations take turns driving past the farm routinely to make sure all is well.

Read more about this line of bull at:

Mystic Investigations News / We Just Secured A Potential Six Figure Deal!
« on: February 18, 2013, 10:39:41 AM »
Minutes ago I was in a conference call with a paranormal investigations firm in Japan called Fujimoto Hitodama Kenkyuu along with a wealthy family plagued by a vengeful Onryo in Japan as well.  The terrified family originally called us after researching the number of supernatural beings we've taken on. Unfortunately we don't have anyone to spare who can fly to Japan right now so we referred it to the Japanese firm.  We earned an initial referral fee of $5000.  If the firm is successful in exorcising the angry spirit then we get 15% of the fee which could be in the middle six figures!  These are the deals that fund our many pro-bono projects!

I was going to call Drake in because he speaks fluent Japanese but he left to investigate a Chupacabra's that just at a whole cow on a farm. I got through the call on my limited knowledge of the language along with a handy voice translation gadget that displays the spoken Japanese word as text on a screen.

Paranormal News / US Government Cover Up Of Mermaids?
« on: February 07, 2013, 04:50:52 PM »
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Read our analysis of this documentary at:  The Mermaids in the video above are not related to our resident white witch Rebecca Abernathy, and her clan directly.  Perhaps indirectly through alien DNA.

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