{"id":79,"date":"2010-09-21T10:15:59","date_gmt":"2010-09-21T16:15:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mysticinvestigations.com\/blog\/?p=79"},"modified":"2023-11-05T18:21:06","modified_gmt":"2023-11-06T01:21:06","slug":"trouble-in-the-neighborhood-last-night","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mysticinvestigations.com\/blog\/trouble-in-the-neighborhood-last-night\/","title":{"rendered":"Trouble In The Neighborhood Last Night!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Neighborhood\"<\/a>As my girlfriend Rebecca<\/a> and I<\/a> were enjoying a quiet evening by the fire at Remington Manor<\/a> we suddenly heard a blood curdling scream coming from outside.\u00a0 We ran to the house next door and found our neighbor, Tiffany Sanders<\/a>, being forced into a van by four large thugs.\u00a0\u00a0Rebecca then turns to me and says,”Kick their asses Xavier!”\u00a0 I give her a “What the hell!” look as one of them punches me in the face.\u00a0 Then I spring into action utilizing my extensive knowledge of kung fu and ninjitsu.\u00a0 While engaging in mortal combat with the filthy fiends,\u00a0Rebecca retrieves our handcuffed neighbor but one of the thugs throws a punch at her.\u00a0 The punch doesn’t touch her and instead is deflected in mid air.\u00a0 The thug grips his hand in pain as\u00a0Rebecca says,”Protection spell!\u00a0 I’m a witch bitch!”\u00a0 She then punches him square in the jaw and knocks him out cold.\u00a0 I finally finish off the other three thugs as I huff and puff totally out of breath.\u00a0 I then say to Rebecca,”Thanks for the help Rebecca!”\u00a0\u00a0Rebecca replies,”You’re welcome Xavier!”\u00a0 She then called the police on her cell phone and the men are taken away to jail.<\/p>\n

After Tiffany finished giving her statement to a police officer she invited us in for tea and crumpets.\u00a0 She told us the men were hired by her ex-husband whose still obsessed with her.\u00a0 He’s tried to kidnap her before but she managed to escape through sheer luck.\u00a0 We noted her extensive collection of lucky charms.\u00a0 Odds were good that at least a few of them possessed real magical luck.\u00a0 She made the right choice by moving in next door to us a few months ago because now we’ll be taking care of business.\u00a0 She had hoped he wouldn’t find her this time since she’d moved many times in order to hide from his insidious grip.\u00a0 He’s a wealthy millionaire who will stop at nothing to get what he wants.\u00a0 Apparently the police can’t do anything because there’s never any proof he’s behind the kidnap attempts.\u00a0 His loyal well paid thugs never talk.\u00a0 We told Tiffany to come stay at our house while we go talk to her husband.<\/p>\n

His name is David Patrick and he lives in Denver so we traveled there in the company helicopter which took about 30 minutes.\u00a0 We landed in the woods nearby and donned our ninja gear complete with masks.\u00a0 We managed to evade his perimeter security complete with guards and dogs.\u00a0 We got past the dogs undetected thanks to a magical spell that covered any odor we might give off.\u00a0 Once inside we located David fast asleep in his bed.\u00a0 I stood at the head of the bed and\u00a0Rebecca sprawled herself out next to him with a devious smile on her face as she whispered,”Wake up you sadistic son of a bitch.”\u00a0 When he didn’t wake up all the way she screamed it in his ear,”Wake up you creepy stalking bastard!”<\/p>\n

He woke up alarmed and attempted to push a panic button on his nightstand but I slapped his hand away from it and\u00a0Rebecca covered his mouth as he attempted to scream.\u00a0 I then said,”Here’s the deal puke.\u00a0 You’re going to forget Tiffany Sanders ever existed and then we’re going to leave you alone.\u00a0 Deal?”\u00a0\u00a0Rebecca then said,”Don’t scream otherwise you’re going to make me angry.\u00a0 You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry”\u00a0 Her Demi-Mermaid eyes glowed blue at that point.\u00a0 She then uncovered his mouth and he said,”Both of you are dead and you don’t even know it!\u00a0 You’re little antics, and glowing contact lenses don’t scare me in the least! I’ll never leave her alone!\u00a0 She’s mine forever!”\u00a0 I then said,”Wrong answer loser!\u00a0 You have no idea who you’re dealing with pal!”\u00a0 David then responded,”I’ll send a damn army of hit men after all of you!\u00a0 You’ll never have a day of rest for the remainder of your short lives!\u00a0 You have little hope of even getting out of here alive!\u00a0 Give yourselves up to my men, or face serious repercussions!”\u00a0\u00a0Rebecca then exclaimed,”Your power is confined to the limited avenues of your pathetic wealth while\u00a0mine blasts forth throughout our entire reality, and is beyond your criminal comprehension!”\u00a0 She then\u00a0blew some sparkly dust in his face and he passed out.<\/p>\n

We discussed what to do with him and finally concluded that spending his life as a slave for women would be poetic justice.\u00a0 We contacted a female\u00a0friend in Brazil who was in contact with the hidden mystical tribe of Amazonian women<\/a> and they agreed to take David<\/a> off our hands.\u00a0 We attempted to smuggle him out of the compound when a guard spotted us and alerted the others including the ferocious attack dogs.\u00a0\u00a0 We ran as fast as we could dragging David between us.\u00a0 The perimeter fence was near us as the dogs converged on us.\u00a0\u00a0Rebecca then turned and let out the most awful high pitched screeching sound ever.\u00a0 It must have been a mermaid thing since she’s not only a witch but half mermaid.\u00a0 Mermaids have power over\u00a0sea animals so it’s safe to assume this extends to land animals to some extent.\u00a0\u00a0The dogs squealed and turned tail running back past the guards.\u00a0 II began climbing the fence with David on my back but he was too heavy to\u00a0lug over the tall fence.<\/p>\n

Rebecca then\u00a0yelled,”effrego seorsum per incendia!” and the stone wall blasted apart.\u00a0 The guard pulled out their firearms, and were about to fire until Rebecca threw a vile of glowing violet liquid at them.\u00a0 It exploded into a neon purple flash of smoke, and light that caused the men to loose consciousness.\u00a0 They lie on the ground motionless as we made it to the helicopter and flew to the Woodland Springs Airport to load David on a\u00a0rented private jet flown by our ex-Navy seal friend Hunter Jackson.\u00a0 He was accompanied by Julia Hathaway who would make the delivery\u00a0to the Amazons along with Rebecca since they hate men.\u00a0 Rebecca would be a key figure in meeting with the Amazons since they have reverence for mermaids.\u00a0\u00a0They should be in the Amazon rain forest by now in the midst of some of the biggest man haters on Earth.\u00a0 The rest of his life will be spent doing manual labor and serving the women.\u00a0 Sweet justice for a man who abused women his entire life.\u00a0 I returned home, and decided to let Tiffany continue sleeping in the guest room after her ordeal.\u00a0 At dawn she could return home, and never worry about the dastardly David every again!<\/p>\n

\u00a7<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As my girlfriend Rebecca and I were enjoying a quiet evening by the fire at Remington Manor we suddenly heard a blood curdling scream coming from outside.\u00a0 We ran to the house next door and found our neighbor, Tiffany Sanders, being forced into a van by four large thugs.\u00a0\u00a0Rebecca then turns to me and says,”Kick … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":950,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[100,23,125],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-amazons","category-criminals","category-tiffany-sanders"],"yoast_head":"\nTrouble In The Neighborhood Last Night! - The Adventures Of Mystic Investigations<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mysticinvestigations.com\/blog\/trouble-in-the-neighborhood-last-night\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Trouble In The Neighborhood Last Night! - The Adventures Of Mystic Investigations\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As my girlfriend Rebecca and I were enjoying a quiet evening by the fire at Remington Manor we suddenly heard a blood curdling scream coming from outside.\u00a0 We ran to the house next door and found our neighbor, Tiffany Sanders, being forced into a van by four large thugs.\u00a0\u00a0Rebecca then turns to me and says,”Kick ... 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