Is The Blob A Real Monster?

Blob Monster

There are a variety of so called “Blob Monsters”.  In general terms Blob Monster is basically any mass of gelatinous goo, or similar material, that can move under it’s own power with some manner of consciousness. The creatures mental capacity can range from zombie like instincts or all the way to intelligent self-aware sapience.  The most famous Blob is portrayed in the 1958 movie “The Blob“.  It was based on the true story of Extraterrestrial goo falling to Earth in a meteor. It then proceeded to devour humans thereby increasing in strength, and size. This Blob was driven by a zombie like instinct. In the end simple cold stopped the creature as it came from an extremely hot planet.

Most Blob Monsters came into existence in the post World War II era of mass chemical, and radiation use. However there are sporadic paranormal records of ancient Blobs of a prehistoric nature, those created by magic, or alchemy, and the aforementioned alien Blobs.  Many times in the magical realm the Blob was the culling of various metaphysical energies into a metaphysical matter form. Sometimes they were ghosts, poltergeists, demons, and other higher dimensional beings ripped away from their alternate planes of existence.  Even a live human can be cursed by a Gypsy or other powerful practitioner of magic into having their soul stolen from their body, and slammed into a Blasphemous Blob form!

Currently the most common form of Blob Monsters are the green glittering gelatinous type pictured at the top of this article.  They are often the product of high levels of radiation mixing with certain chemicals.  Toxic waste dumps are the most common sites of their birth.  A human, some supernatural beings, or even an animal can fall prey to chemical radioactivity thereby being reduced to a gelatinous form. Generally though an animal doesn’t have enough spiritual juice to form a Blob or keep it’s form for too long. Somewhere in the mix there is a metaphysical transfer of the victim’s soul to the new gel form. It charges the goo, and utilizes the entire Blob as a consciousness matrix in place of biological brain.  Radioactive goo is then transformed into metaphysical matter rather than physical matter. Metaphysical matter reacts directly to a consciousness without the need for logical biological or mechanical parts.  The outer shell is rather firm while the deepest parts of the Blob are more slimy in nature. More so when it’s absorbed various objects.

The creature glitters, and glows with a green hue that makes it stand out in the darkness. This is actually more of an indication of the metaphysical energy activity of their spirit rather than radiation. However the catalyst for the green color is gamma radiation.  The same stuff that creates Incredible Hulks! Interestingly enough the heavy gelatinous substance locks in the radiation thereby making the Blob harmless in that respect. Supernatural Scientists, and Cryptozoologists are studying the mystery of why exactly this happens along with discovering what is the catalyst of this sapient Blog creation process.

The oddest part of the Blob birth process is the formation of huge non-glowing googly eyes. Some say eyes are the windows of the soul, and must form on all intelligent beings.  A God programmed bridge between the laws of physics, and metaphysics. The personality of the former human, or whatever the being was, is transformed to an almost innocent child like state within the simple mental matrix of the Blob.  So they are usually not a threat for the most part.  However people, animals, and things can get caught within their jelly like body thereby suffocating innocent victims to death rather quickly!  If they sink too deep within the Blob the pressure can crush them as well!  The digestion like assimilation of virtually any substance via a pressurised acidic breakdown increases the size, and strength of the Blob. Unfortunately since it’s a metaphysical matter being it responds to the strongest metaphysical energy organisms, aka humans, and various supernatural beings.  However it can exist indefinitely without consuming anything.

Communication is difficult at first as they become used to their new mind, and body. Without a mouth their thoughts send out vibrations through their goo that send odd echoes forth.  Eventually the sounds will sound like a muffled voice.  If the Blob lives long enough it acquires shape shifting abilities that allow it to form a mouth along with forming a tongue, and vocal cord equivalents for create clear complete speech. Usually the voice is rather cute, high pitched, and  squeaky sounding until their shape shifting skills advance sufficiently.  Eventually they may sprout small arms, and after being alive for a century or more they could very well reacquire a human like bipedal form.  Despite this they will still always be a green glowing gelatinous form, and the giant googly eyes seem to be unalterable for reasons unknown.

The Blob is theoretically Immortal unless it refuses to consume anything or absorb any further radiation.  Over time sliding about surfaces causes gel to slough off, and reduce it’s size. This of course then reduces it’s mental capacity which threatens to reduce it to a zombie like form that will begin absorbing anything in sight!  In addition radioactive decay occurs giving it a plausible life expectancy of at least several thousands of years. Periodic exposure to gamma rays will insure immortality, and maintain its strength & size.  The government has been known to capture Blob’s for use in the clean up of dangerous radiation.  A Blob can actually absorb nuclear waste, and help the environment!  They’re the reason our nuclear waste problems aren’t 100 times worse than they already are. Some say Mother Nature, Goddess Gaia, had a hand in these type of Blob’s creation as a countermeasure for humankind’s radioactive ravages! Unfortunately too much nuclear waste absorption can tend to make them aggressive, and alter their normally chipper demeanor.  This is just another reason to steer clear of nuclear waste dumps! The telltale signs of a dangerous Blob are specs of brown amid its green glittering body, and movement toward you at ramming speed!  The only known repellent for this Blob is Iodine. Otherwise run for your life, and pray he, or she doesn’t encase you within it’s slime ridden gooeyness!  Ewwwwwwww!

See Also: Star Jelly | Slithersucker

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What Is The Stool?

The StoolWe hesitate to even mention this particular paranormal phenomenon, known as The Stool, since it is by far the most disgusting thing we’ve ever come across.  For reasons unknown excrement of all varieties will randomly coalesce into a sentient blob.   Although a rare event it is clearly a health hazard that the government often deals with, and covers up in the media as well.  If The Stool is left unchecked it will grow into the giant pile of poop seen in the photo at the left.  The stench is unbearable, and the high levels of methane it gives off drive away oxygen thereby causing asphyxiation in humans, and other creatures.  This is often a concern in sewers which is the place this despicable entity forms the most.

It is referred to as The Stool, despite seeming to be many separate entities, due to The Stool As Seen From The Airpsychics confirming it is of one noxious mind.  This indicates there may very well be a central Stool hidden somewhere on Earth.  This Alpha Stool seems to be using some type of telekinetic power to create new members of his highly horrid species. Evidence indicates that it’s consciousness emanates from the Mother Earth Gaia Network.  The paranormal nervous system of the planet, and Goddess Gaia that is the soul of our Earth which it’s using as a telekinetic conduit to everywhere.  It’s mindless mission seems simply to grow, and engulf the planet in a layer of pure poop which might seem impossible.  Although The Stool starts out as a collection of common crap at some point it develops it’s own DNA, and begins growing spontaneous inexplicable cells of pure waste product.  Despite this the wandering waste still needs to collect droppings along it’s journey to fuel it’s growth process.

Thankfully sewer workers, and even the homeless, usually report the sickening Stool in it’s early stages, and word gets to top secret government, or private paranormal organizations, who send in special Hazmat teams to dismantle the smelly Stool, and clean up the bio-toxins.  If you run across a suspicious stack of sh-i-t then please contact the local authorities, or your local supernatural investigations team.  Do not attempt to engage the excrement yourself as it can move in a quick, and erratic manner when provoked thereby absorbing you into it’s slimy sludge.  Some misguided individuals have attempted to burn the creature in flames which only results in methane explosions, and the release of deadly carbon monoxide gas.  Please leave the poop to the professionals!  If you have any information leading to the capture of the Alpha Stool then you may be eligible for an extensive bounty of up to one million dollars being offered by various organizations.  Until this wretched being is apprehended we recommend staying away from sewers, waste treatment plants, and manure farms.

Interesting Historical Note: The Stool was responsible for London, England’s Great Stink Of 1858!