What Is The Loch Ness Monster?

Nestled in the Scottish Highlands lies the deep dark murky waters of Loch Ness. Within these wondrous waters, one can find an abundance of wildlife including the infamous paranormal creature known as The Loch Ness Monster! Over the centuries the dinosaur-like cryptid has been spotted by numerous witnesses. The first official sighting in the public record was by an Irish Monk named Saint Columbia in the year 565. However, numerous other sightings and attacks are listed in the secret paranormal record. In some cases, reports have been lost to history or even covered up by historians working on behalf of various governments who don’t want to alarm citizens. From that time up until 1332 paranormal records indicated the blasphemous beast was quite vicious! It would relentlessly attack animals and people before disappearing back into the deep depths in a flash! Over the centuries no warriors, whether human or supernatural, could ever find nor slay the Monster Of Ness! After 1332 there were only sparse sightings and all were generally peaceful in nature. We now know the reason for this lies firmly in the hands of our planets top Sorcerer of the light named Ian McTavish.

The Deception Of The Loch Ness Monster
The Monster Of Ness is more or less a paranormal Plesiosaurus that is approximately 12 feet long. It has two large fore flippers and two back flippers. The creature has a long tail and extremely long neck. Its head isn’t much wider than the top of the neck. The skin is reptile like with a grayish green coloring. The beast’s eyes have been known to occasionally glow crimson, yellow, and even a light green due to demonic DNA and various magics within. The once carnivorous monster is known to be immortal with supernatural stealth abilities.

The Birth Of The Loch Ness Monster
The Loch Ness Monster came into existence courtesy of the dark Sorcerer Melvin Covington. He wanted to test his prolific powers since recently rising from the status of Sorcerer’s Apprentice. At the same time, he wanted to punish the bullies who ousted him from the village he grew up in. Even his own family disowned him because they felt he had a darkness in him that couldn’t be cured. He was always a socially awkward weakling generally disliked by all and things only got worse when he turned to practicing magic. After being rejected by his own people he found refuge in England with an evil Sorcerer who took Covington under his wayward wing. However, Covington was also bullied by his new malevolent master and eventually he killed him in a cowardly manner!

In the year 555, he stealthily returned to his village on the shores of Loch Ness. In a secluded area amid the Witching to Devil’s Hours, he conjured up the Monster Of Loch Ness. He originally intended a land creature to terrifying everyone but he foresaw it would be more easily discovered and eventually slayed. At the time Dragons were already being taken down left and right by brave warriors who would later be known as Knights. Instead, Covington created an aquatic creature who could perpetually hide in the deep dark water. A horrifying entity that could dive at people on shore, swallow swimmers, and strike terror in the hearts of fishermen!

The mainstream populace had no knowledge of dinosaurs at the time but those in the real supernatural community knew of this planets amazing prehistoric facts. Covington used psychic temporal magic to sense sea creatures in his general vicinity 200 million years in the past! He then opened a time portal and brought forth a newborn Plesiosaur baby into a mystically roped off area of the Loch containing spelled waters full of perplexing potions. He imbued the young aquatic carnivore with a demonic essence called forth from the bowels of Hell via various dark Underworld Gods. The little beast was a female as Covington hoped to bring forth a male for breeding. The minute monsters eyes glowed crimson as the demonic essence took hold among other mystical alterations making the creature invulnerable to attack and immortal as well. The sinister Sorcerer spelled the monster to stay within Loch Ness forever tormenting anyone in the vicinity! He also programmed its mind to have a taste for human flesh and then secondly for wildlife when necessary. Every life taken would be considered a demonic sacrifice to increase the Sorcerers power base. Covington then gave the creature a dark blessing before commanding it to swim away into the moonlit waters.

From that night onward the Loch Ness Monster slaughtered many an innocent along with causing heart attacks in some out of sheer terror. Thankfully, the full force of its power wasn’t seen until it was a grown adult monster within 3 years. Before that time the Sorcerer Covington began preparations to conjure up a male monster but he himself couldn’t resist personally going after those who had wronged him. This included intricate schemes to drive entire families crazy before taking them down in what he saw as personal justice. Luckily his insanity caught the attention of a powerful coven of witches who had enough! They dispatched Covington to the fiery pits of the Underworld with extreme prejudice! Despite considerable effort, they weren’t able to locate the blasphemous beast he birthed! However, their protective magical efforts limited the full brunt of the Loch Ness Monsters rabid rage!

The Monster Becomes A Gentle Giant
In 1331 the Sorcerer Ian McTavish came to investigate the legends of the monster while looking for a location to build his magic school. He was instinctively drawn to the shimmering waters of the Loch. Then one fateful night he caught glimpse of the Loch Ness Monster going after some moonlight skinny dippers. Ian dove in and took on the beast with the raw power of his mighty magic! He was able to subdue the leviathan after a few hours but chose not to extinguish its life as it was an innocent pawn in Covington’s warped magic. Instead, McTavish removed the demonic essence with an elaborate enchantment. He had no idea at the time but he was actually removing the demonic DNA intertwined within the beast. Unfortunately, the creature was still powerful and a carnivorous dinosaur. McTavish called upon various nature deities including Goddess Gaia Mother Earth herself to bless the monster and give it an intelligent love for all living things. It was Universally forgiven for the atrocities it performed while under the spell of demonic influences. From that moment forth the newly christened creature of a gentle sort would only eat plants and mystical food provided by McTavish. He had tamed the beast and decided Loch Ness was the perfect place for his school.

There on the shores of Loch Ness, the Sorcerer McTavish erected his magically cloaked campus to educate those with paranormal potential from around the world! Completed in 1333 it is now the finest school of its kind on Earth known as the McTavish International Academy Of Magical Sciences! The Loch Ness Monster became affectionately known as Nessie by students. She became the school’s mascot whose image is proudly displayed on their flag and other institutional memorabilia. Nessie often gives students, professors, and guests rides around the portion of the Loch with a cloaking spell on it. Unfortunately, Nessie can be somewhat mischievous at times and escapes the metaphysical barrier thereby being seen by everyone. These are the sources of sparse Loch Ness Monsters sightings every so often. Next time you’re in Loch Ness and spot Nessie fear nor for she is harmless and only wants to be friends!

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The recent project of testing Loch Ness waters for DNA will fail! They simply don’t have the equipment to identify supernatural DNA. Not to mention the fact that Nessie’s bodily structure doesn’t shed any cells!

Thank God Covington Didn’t Call Forth Predator X!

How Much Does Magic School Cost?

JK RowlingJ.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter book series, recently tweeted that a magical education at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft & Wizardry was tuition free.  She was prompted to reveal this when an article estimated the cost of an education at her fictional school would probably cost $43,000 a year!  Of course Hogwarts does exist in a parallel Universe where the education is funded by the Ministry Of Magic.  In our reality there are a number of secret magical institutions of higher education.  The most prestigious of these is McTavish International Academy Of Magical Sciences presided by Headmaster Ian McTavish, the world’s most renowned immortal Sorcerer.  Like Hogwarts, McTavish Academy, along with most magic schools, are indeed free of charge to students.  If there was a tuition it would be astronomical, and the schools would barely have any students since they’d miss out on 99% of the supernatural talent around the world.  Unlike the world of Harry Potter there is no magical government, or Ministry Of Magic.  There are secret mystical organizations around the world but there’s no official entity that presides over the world of the supernatural.

Since we’re talking about real magic clearly these schools run by powerful magical practitioners could conjure up buildings, supplies, etc.  Professors who teach, and perform research work aren’t generally paid.  They volunteer to keep their craft alive, and support the cause of fighting the forces of darkness, or in some cases the forces of righteousness.  Those with true magical talent can come by wealth easily enough.  However some do demand pay that is usually in the form of gold created through alchemy, or culled from ancient treasure storage’s collected by those magicians who happen to be immortal.  Such treasure reserves of gold, and silver collected over the centuries cover any expenses when magical reserves have been temporarily depleted. After all if someone had unlimited magical power they’d in essence be a God, or a Genie!

JK Rowling also made mention that Muggles, aka non-magical humans, should get their act together to offer free college as well.  If human society was truly about bettering our species, and civilization as quickly as possible then we would seek to educate everyone who wanted to learn.  Certainly there are thousands of people around the world with untapped potential to contribute to propelling humankind to the stars before an extinction level event occurs on Earth.  Perhaps all those tax dollars that seem to disappear into a black hole in so many nations could be better spent educating the populace!

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