How Anyone Can Be Superhuman!

Superhuman PowersA previously unknown, and well hidden clause in the fine paranormal print of the Supernatural Secrecy Pact addresses human free will in the department of Superhuman abilities. Specifically enhanced strength, speed, agility, senses, intelligence, health immunity, and immortality!  However this doesn’t mean invincibility. You can still be killed! It states that Super Humanity can be achieved if one wishes to be “Superhuman” on their birthday at the exact time of their birth down to the second.  You can only wish once a year so if you only have the moment to the minute you can go through each second every year.  If you have bad luck then it could take you up to 60 years to achieve this! Unfortunately The Powers That Be didn’t make it even that easy!  While wishing you must also bury yourself naked under soil up to your neck.  It specifically says,”under soil even with Earth”.  In essence simulating your grave to metaphysically bring your birth, and death into a connective loop.  Plausibly sand would be okay as well if you happen to be on a beach. In addition both your Father, and Mother must be present standing at each end of your mock grave. They are where your life force came from. One at your head, and the other at your feet.  No preference in position is given.  If one, or both aren’t alive then a personal belonging at those positions counts. In that case you also need your closest relative present as a witness.  For most that would be a sibling.  You can’t choose this option if your parents are alive.  Yes this is embarrassing but if you want super powers then you must make the tough choices!

In addition it must either be raining or you have to simulate it by having someone sprinkle water on yourself while in the ground.  There must also be a flame within your field of view.  A torch or even a small candle should do the trick. Most importantly of all you must believe you can achieve immortal superhuman status.  Have belief in the power of your higher dimensional soul that is being accessed in this ritualistic spell.  A spell that appears to have been suggested for placement in the Supernatural Secrecy Pact by none other than Goddess Gaia Mother Earth.  Since all the signers of the Pact agreed to it even evil humans can do it.  Unfortunately demons were included in the Pact along with angels, gods, and other supernaturals so everything must be equal!

Apparently if your superhuman birthday wish comes true all your Chakra channels are cleansed, and opened completely allowing for a maximum free flow of metaphysical energy into your biological body.  This will bolster your health, increase muscle mass, and density, and ultra stimulate the brain just to name a few benefits.  The Clause states the ageing process will halt but it will not reverse. However you will probably look younger due to some of the cellular healing, and detoxification that will take place. If you’re a child it seems as if your aging would halt as well so you better not try until you’re at least happy with your appearance as an adult. Unless of course you want to be a perpetual child. It’s also assumed deadly diseases would be cured due to the mention of immunity.  The clause states you can only be killed by mortal wounds with no mention of illnesses.  So you will most likely never get sick ever again! In addition Injuries, and handicaps would be healed upon becoming Superhuman.

Since so much metaphysical energy will be flowing within you it’s likely you’ll develop psychic abilities such as sensing danger afoot, and getting premonitions as well.  You may also acquire psychokinetic abilities. Especially if you specifically train to develop them.  This means you could actually fly like Superman, or access additional strength, speed, etc. to be like Superman or Supergirl, since standard superhuman abilities aren’t anywhere near that level. Still you’d be able to take on a street gang with ease!  With your increased intelligence you could easily master martial arts if you plan to go into superhero crime fighting. Those of you planning to become super villains should keep in mind that Mystic Investigations, and other paranormal crime fighting organizations would seek to take you down with extreme prejudice!

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