What Is A Money Monster?

Money MonsterA Money Monster is a unique paranormal creature that grows to no more than a foot tall.  It is bright green in color with large green eyes, and protruding diamond sharp teeth. The micro monstrous menace has two fin like arms it will flap around as a show of force along with parrot like feet with large dull claws. The Money Monster’s sole purpose for existence is the hunting, and consuming of currency in any form.  Basically anything that a person would exchange for goods. In rare cases it will go after bartered goods as well.  Mostly it enjoys devouring paper currency, and secondly all manner of metal coins with a special love for gold, and silver.  It’s third favorite food are credit cards.  It’s rumored that when they sleep their spirits are drawn to cyberspace transactions, and when online purchases go awry they may be the cause!

Money Monster’s are said to be a product of powerful magical practitioners, along with Gods they called upon, mixed with the human collective subconsciousness Spirit Of Greed. A non-sapient entity whose metaphysical energies manifest via human greed. All human factors, especially emotional, spontaneously manifest as spirits within the human collective consciousness. It’s unknown if Money Monster’s were created on purpose or were an unintentional consequence of a powerful spell along with an unfortunate confluence of enchanted events!  We do know that the fangs of these ferocious financial freaks are drawn to the greed of people rather than large stashes of cash. However having money on site is essential. The brazen Beast doesn’t attack people unless provoked, or threatened in some way. It just wants your treasure! Often billionaires, and millionaires obsessed with money are the ones who fall victim to the monster of money. In the dead of night they hear a loud noise accompanied by insane growling, and find it’s the door ripped clean off their safe with every penny missing!

Those in the supernatural know take precautions to protect their cash, precious metals, plastic, and even stock certificates.  Mother Nature always seems to provide a lifeline to humans in all areas of their existence if they know where to look. When it comes to the Money Monster there are two plants that fit the bill, and repel the blasphemous bastards!  The best deterrent, next to simply not being greedy, is the Silver Dollar Plant (Lunaria Annua) and to a lesser extent true natural Four Leaf Clovers (Trifolium Repens). However the repellent properties are most powerful when these two plants are used in tandem against the monied menace! If you see an affluent property with these plants growing on them then you can be pretty sure they know a good deal about the real paranormal world!

There was a time our Executive Vice-President, and Vampire Drake Alexander was greed driven to collect all manner of money. It’s the reason he’s amassed several millions over his seven centuries of existence.  Had he not gotten rid of that greed he would probably have billions but at what cost to his personal integrity, and current mission to help humankind!  He is the only member of our supernatural crime fighting team that has seen a live Money Monster. During his days as a high seas pirate he witnessed his hidden treasure rapidly eaten by a Money Monster in mere seconds. Even racing back to the chest at super speed, moments after burying it on a beach, he couldn’t even capture the creature who darted away like The Flash! There is no record of a live specimen ever being captured due to their amazing speed, and agility!  A dead one has never been found as well. This could simply be like looking for a needle in the haystack of this giant paranormal planet or perhaps they’re immortal.  Their bodies could possibly vanish as well just like vampires turn to ash when they die.  Some have theorized they leave behind a titanic pile of treasure consisting of everything they ever ate in their entire lives!

Money Monsters are a danger to anyone who is greedy, paranoid, and keeps large amounts of valuables in their vicinity.  Keeping your valuables in a bank can also be a danger if any of the employees are obsessed with the accumulation of wealth. There is an unconfirmed rumor that all the gold in Fort Knox is gone courtesy of a Money Monster! One of the most prolific verified cases, hidden by the government from the media, was at a major Manhattan bank in 1986.  A Money Monster was captured on extremly slow motion video cleaning out a huge bank vault, and all the safety deposit boxes in under 30 seconds!  This is one of the more puzzling aspects of this monetary monster. It can eat quantities of currency exponentially larger than it’s own body with no evidence of ever eating it.  This would suggest some kind of transmutation of physical matter into metaphysical matter, or energy.  The metaphysical matter theory would explain the paranormal premise that these monsters leave behind everything they ever ate in lieu of their bodies when they die.  Metaphysical matter is often out of phase with our reality, and the Money Monster’s body could be the physical anchor.  Once it’s extinguished the meta matter would phase back into our reality, and return to normal physical form.  If the money remains intact this indicates that they solely subsist off the metaphysical energy mustered by people fueled by a lust for financial gain.  If you happen to spot the Money Monster just think charitable thoughts of giving, and throw all your money at it! Odds are you will walk away unharmed.

It’s a little known fact that monster dolls will repel real monsters nearly 75% of the time! Sounds like a wise investment to us!

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