Gerald’s most historic trip & fall episode on the steps of Air Force One. His wife Betty looks on as if it’s an everyday occurrence.
Gerald Ford was an Eagle Scout, and star athlete in his youth. He served bravely in the Navy during World War II, and won his first election into the House Of Representatives in 1948. Ford eventually rose to House Minority Leader before Richard Nixon nominated him Vice-President in 1973. Finally upon Nixon’s resignation he became President Of The United States. Despite this life of successes Ford eventually fell prey to the specter of dark luck in his Presidency as he suddenly became known for being a clumsy oaf. His Presidency was marked with repeated tripping, and stumbling all over the place along with moments of awkwardness, and silly inexplicable blunders. The only unelected President in history lost his first election to Jimmy Carter in 1976. So why did Gerald Ford’s luck change so drastically during the 70’s?
It seems he developed strong aspirations to ascend to the Presidency once he became House Minority Leader. Sometime during the Nixon Administration he
crossed paths with a Clurichaun, aka evil Anti-Leprechauns, who often pose as Leprechauns in order to trick unsuspecting humans. It’s conjectured that the Clurichaun chose Ford because his paternal grandfather, Charles King, had made a deal with a Clurichaun to become a prominent wealthy banker. However in that case the bad luck was passed to his son, and the biological father of Ford, Leslie King. This happens if someone is smart enough to precisely word their wish. They might escape the dark luck but then it gets inadvertently passed down to their eldest child. Dark Leprechauns like to choose members of the same family in order to build a multi-generation tidal wave of bad luck to feed off of.
The Clurichaun claiming to be a Leprechaun approached Ford in the US Capital after a late night session in the House. He made Gerald an offer he
couldn’t refuse! He would become President at the expense of Nixon’s downfall. Gerald felt bad about this but wanted the Presidency with all his heart. He’d later pardon Nixon out of guilt. Gerald agreed to the deal without realizing that bad luck always comes with a Clurichaun deal. Ford’s deal resulted in Nixon, and others in the administration receiving the negative luck of the Watergate Scandal. In 1973 Ford was appointed Vice-President in place of Spiro Agnew, and in 1974 he became President when Nixon resigned under threat of impeachment. Upon taking the oath of office President Gerald Ford’s bad luck spree began. A specter of dumb dark embarrassing luck that would follow him for all the rest of his days even beyond The White House. Gerald Ford should be thankful he didn’t wish for anything dastardly because such wishes can result in dangerous dark luck rather than the harmless embarrassments he suffered through. Let this be a lesson to those who blindly accept deals from little Irish fellows calling themselves Leprechauns.
A sure way to know you’re dealing with a Clurichaun is the fact that real Leprechauns are shy, and secretive. They’ll never approach anyone to make a deal, or grant wishes. Also real four leaf clovers, lucky charms, and various religious artifacts will repel dark diabolical Leprechauns of doom!
One Of Many Examples Of President Gerald Ford’s Bad Clurichaun Luck
It was the Witching Hour of Halloween when a serial killer wielding an extra large meat cleaver eradicated two 3rd shift employees stocking shelves in Aisle 13 at a large department store. Interestingly enough Aisle 13 was for seasonal items. In this case it was being stocked with Halloween Costumes, and Decor. The sick individual grabbed a random monster mask, and placed it over his face while laughing like a loon. He then proceeded to slice, and dice the man, and woman up while arranging the body parts around a Satanic symbol he painted in the victim’s blood. At the Devil’s Hour the police arrived to find him drenched in blood while chanting incantations in an unknown ancient language. He ignored them at first but once they neared him he ripped his mask off to reveal his deranged scowl of evil! He then leaped forth screaming,”Don’t interfere with my masters ritual!” He brandished his meat cleaver, and the cops were forced to shoot him in self-defense. He collapsed, and died amid the bloody carnage of his innocent slayed victims. Read The Rest Of This Urban Legend On Our Halloween Blog…
Indeed a dark witch named Elly Kedward was banished from a town called Blair, Maryland in 1785. This was due to her using dark witchcraft to mesmerize children so she could draw their innocent blood, infused with pure sanguine energies, for her nefarious unholy rituals! Most of the children were severely weakened, and fell ill! Not only was she shunned from the community but repeatedly tortured by townsfolk as she lay tied up in the woods. They partook of all manner of religious rituals upon what they saw as the servant of the Devil when in fact she only served herself! They wanted to make an example of her, cleanse the community, and even attempt the misguided task of cleansing her soul in the eyes of their holy Lord. Time, and time again they left her for dead bound, and blindfolded in the cold wilds. Day after day they returned to find her still alive by the sheer force of her wayward will! Not even wild animals inexplicably went near her! Finally they strung her up, and hung her from a tree! Elly’s last words were an eternal curse upon the entire town of Blair, and it’s citizens! Her body was eventually taken down, and burned in a shallow grave. Her unholy ashes scattered to the four winds of the forest! It’s thought that act was the final element that bound her spirit to those very woods for all eternity! The citizens of Blair assumed they had done right by the Lord, and their witch ridden nightmares were over. Little did they know that sending Ellly down the long torturous road to death would lead to her return!
It turns out she was drawing blood from children to secure he eternal existence on Earth via a system of magical rituals she personally created free of any demons or other deities. She only wanted to be beholden to herself. She refused to be a higher dimensional entities slave! Elly was unable to complete her series of spells but her hellish death caused her to become a ghost rather than moving on into the Afterlife as most do. Traumatic deaths almost always manifest ghosts. As a ghost with revenge in her heart she could make good on her curse. Normally ghosts are confused with muddled minds and rarely cause much harm. However her rituals had strengthened her spirit stoked further by her burning anger. As she made good on her curse the fear, and resentment, of the Blair citizens further fueled her with much needed metaphysical energy reserves. Strong emotions always create their own non-sapient astral energy spirits. Spiritual energy a sapient person can draw upon if they have the right magical knowledge. Through her knowledge of the metaphysical she eventually became a full fledged non-demonic poltergeist!
Elly became known as the Blair Witch while her infamous curse on the entire town caused all manner of accidents, deaths, and disappearances. Then there was the unusual behavior of normally peaceful animals who would attack people for no reason. Even crops began to fail, and the weather would locally grow violent at times for mere moments before instantly clearing up! Finally the devilish apparitions along with mass nightmares, including herself, that tormented the citizens was the last straw! Eventually everyone abandoned the town in sheer terror! By that time all the Witch’s accusers, half the towns children, and a quarter of the adults had either mysteriously vanished into thin air or were found dead! So much death, and destruction at her macabre hands gifted her with the ability to temporarily take physical form for a time. It’s said to be a rare pure metaphysical matter form which would make her extremely indestructible! Metaphysical matter is composed of spiritual components rather than atoms, and quarks. This allowed her to walk about her precious woodland she held dear while installing an even more special brand of terror in those who trespassed within her domain!
For many years she lie dormant with the town abandoned, and virtually nobody to feed off of. She merely became a spirit of the woods. The only spirit since Nymphs, Fairies, and other usual nature deities also abandoned the area in fear of her wrath! In essence The Blair Witch was left to care for the woodland in place of Mother Nature’s supernatural caretakers. Probably the only good quality of the Witch that beckons back to her pure witchcraft roots before they became corrupted by a lust for immortal powers. It’s been suggested her spinster status spawned hate in her. A forced journey as a loner due to to her unusual way of life from an early age. Something perhaps born from her parents who were a dark warlock, and witch in league with the Devil! Ironically she rejected this power, and rumor has it she murdered her parents in defiance of the Devil himself! It’s unknown if the Devil ever bothered to retaliate. He tends to leave evil people alone when they’re causing mayhem toward humankind. Finally in 1824 a new town called Burkittsville was founded on the site of Blair by those ignorant of the urban legend of the Blair Witch. She was careful, and more patient in poaching her victims this time around as she slowly grew in power again! The woods of Blair was her home, and she needed a continuous supply of children, and adults to torment! The Blair witch vowed not to be abandoned again!
The Blair Witch is classified as a serial killing poltergeist witch with minor deity propensities. She is responsible for an unexplained string of missing persons, and people found ritually murdered over the past two centuries in the Burkittsville area. This suggests she needs to make more innocent sacrifices to stay tied to our corporeal plane of reality. Her case is unusual due to the fact that most poltergeists are tied to a human built structure or even an individual. Her haunting’s revolve around an entire town with special preference for it’s dense woodland. In 1994 three student filmmakers decided to make a documentary about the Blair Witch legend, and hiked into the Black Hills Forest of Maryland. They are never seen again. Although their film footage was recovered in 1995, and viewed by Hollywood Executives that planned to release it as a dark documentary. However as usual the US Paranormal Defense Agency swooped in, and confiscated the footage. Thankfully Hollywood simply recreated the real footage in a film called The Blair Witch Project. A great many films of a paranormal nature are based on true stories. This is how most of the populace learns of the dark supernatural world hidden away from them in the shadows beyond their view!
To this day abductions, murders, and mysterious disappearances have continued without any explanation! The government denies that The Blair Witch is real, and continues to cover up this horrifying urban legend. A number of paranormal professionals have attempted to take on the poltergeist witch but have either never found a trace of her, or have mysteriously disappeared themselves! This includes top flight poltergeist, and witch slayers! We here at Mystic Investigations are certainly up to the challenge! We are waiting until the time is right for us to take a trip to the Black Hills near Burkittsville. We feel confident that we can take down the poltergeist witch with our talented team of supernatural saviors! Fortunately there has been talk in the global witchcraft community of forming a Super Coven! A collective coven of good witches from around the world would enter the blasphemous black forest of Blair, and take down this despicable denizen of darkness once, and for all!
The Blair Witch is considered an extremely dangerous poltergeist whose sole purpose of existence is her continued immortality, and revenge against humankind in general. It appears she is mystically tied to the woods of Burkittsville, or simply refuses to leave. She is able to take a physical form of metaphysical matter that may or may not have biological components. She also possess a number of frightening paranormal abilities including mind control over victims. This can include hallucinations, and forcing people to commit suicide. Her love of woods, children, and mentally tormenting people is reminiscent of the sinister Slenderman. Although we know that Slender Man doesn’t sacrifice children, and instead stores them in an immortal stasis as he siphons their innocent metaphysical energy from their souls.
The Blair Witch Meets Slenderman!
There is some anecdotal evidence that suggests Slender Man once visited the Burkittsville woodlands in 1977 by sheer coincidence, and actually saved a little boy from the Blair Witch. We’re not saying Slender Man is good. On the contrary he is beyond evil! Thankfully when two dark forces meet, and their agendas are opposing we get the unintended anti-hero. Slender considers kids a precious resource while simultaneously having contempt for the rest of humanity. The Blair Witch sees kids as disposable garbage to further her own selfish supernatural needs! It’s said that the two titans battled for merely a few minutes. Enough time for the child to run away, and make it back to his parents. Things were going well for Slender, especially since he’s immune to a great deal of magic, but then The Blair Witch returned to non-physical poltergeist form. She began launching trees at him, and attempted to pierce the thick veil of his dark deluded mind. She finally created a micro tornado whirling him around violently amid sharp stabbing branches. Slender finally had enough, and played his usual teleportation trump card! He vanished, and the two never met again!