The Sinister Urban Legend Of The Slumber Slaughterer!

The Slumber SlaughtererThe sinister Slumber Slaughterer is an Urban Legend originally hailing from early Yazoo City, Mississippi. Sometime in 1972 a twentysomething cotton mill worker named Elmer Ray Beesley claimed he was contacted by the infamous ghost of the Yazoo City Witch. The wayward witch is thought to have been the cause of a devastating May 25, 1904 fire that took out half the town!  Apparently Elmer had been taking a stroll through the Glenwood Cemetery in Yazoo when he happened upon the witches haunted grave. He dared to walk on it as he felt a surge of metaphysical energy fly through him. There she spoke to Elmer telling him it was time to no longer keep his murderous urges bottled up. A violent rage that stemmed from an unstable childhood that involved abusive alcoholic parents. He hid under his bed during their ferocious arguments that often involved each of them taunting the other by bringing their respective lovers home. Needless to say Elmer’s childhood was strewn with sleepless stressful nights. At the age of 8 his parents ended up literally murdering each other during a violent struggle. This ended up knocking a candle over which started the house on fire. Elmer was left with some bodily disfigurement due to the burns. This prompted him to grow his hair long in order to hide the burnt left side of his face. Read The Rest Of This Short Story On Our Halloween Blog…

Why Was President Gerald Ford So Unlucky?

Gerald Ford Historic Trip And Fall

Gerald’s most historic trip & fall episode on the steps of Air Force One. His wife Betty looks on as if it’s an everyday occurrence.

Gerald Ford was an Eagle Scout, and star athlete in his youth. He served bravely in the Navy during World War II, and won his first election into the House Of Representatives in 1948. Ford eventually rose to House Minority Leader before Richard Nixon nominated him Vice-President in 1973. Finally upon Nixon’s resignation he became President Of The United States. Despite this life of successes Ford eventually fell prey to the specter of dark luck in his Presidency as he suddenly became known for being a clumsy oaf. His Presidency was marked with repeated tripping, and stumbling all over the place along with moments of awkwardness, and silly inexplicable blunders. The only unelected President in history lost his first election to Jimmy Carter in 1976. So why did Gerald Ford’s luck change so drastically during the 70’s?

It seems he developed strong aspirations to ascend to the Presidency once he became House Minority Leader. Sometime during the Nixon Administration he
crossed paths with a Clurichaun, aka evil Anti-Leprechauns, who often pose as Leprechauns in order to trick unsuspecting humans.  It’s conjectured that the Clurichaun chose Ford because his paternal grandfather, Charles King, had made a deal with a Clurichaun to become a prominent wealthy banker.   However in that case the bad luck was passed to his son, and the biological father of Ford, Leslie King.  This happens if someone is smart enough to precisely word their wish.  They might escape the dark luck but then it gets inadvertently passed down to their eldest child.  Dark Leprechauns like to choose members of the same family in order to build a multi-generation tidal wave of bad luck to feed off of.

The Clurichaun claiming to be a Leprechaun approached Ford in the US Capital after a late night session in the House. He made Gerald an offer he
couldn’t refuse!  He would become President at the expense of Nixon’s downfall.  Gerald felt bad about this but wanted the Presidency with all his heart.  He’d later pardon Nixon out of guilt.  Gerald agreed to the deal without realizing that bad luck always comes with a Clurichaun deal.  Ford’s deal resulted in Nixon, and others in the administration receiving the negative luck of the Watergate Scandal.  In 1973 Ford was appointed Vice-President in place of Spiro Agnew, and in 1974 he became President when Nixon resigned under threat of impeachment.  Upon taking the oath of office President Gerald Ford’s bad luck spree began.  A specter of dumb dark embarrassing luck that would follow him for all the rest of his days even beyond The White House.  Gerald Ford should be thankful he didn’t wish for anything dastardly because such wishes can result in dangerous dark luck rather than the harmless embarrassments he suffered through. Let this be a lesson to those who blindly accept deals from little Irish fellows calling themselves Leprechauns.

A sure way to know you’re dealing with a Clurichaun is the fact that real Leprechauns are shy, and secretive. They’ll never approach anyone to make a deal, or grant wishes.  Also real four leaf clovers, lucky charms, and various religious artifacts will repel dark diabolical Leprechauns of doom!

One Of Many Examples Of President Gerald Ford’s Bad Clurichaun Luck

The Legend Of The Murderously Haunted Aisle 13!

Haunted Aisle 13It was the Witching Hour of Halloween when a serial killer wielding an extra large meat cleaver eradicated two 3rd shift employees stocking shelves in Aisle 13 at a large department store. Interestingly enough Aisle 13 was for seasonal items. In this case it was being stocked with Halloween Costumes, and Decor. The sick individual grabbed a random monster mask, and placed it over his face while laughing like a loon. He then proceeded to slice, and dice the man, and woman up while arranging the body parts around a Satanic symbol he painted in the victim’s blood. At the Devil’s Hour the police arrived to find him drenched in blood while chanting incantations in an unknown ancient language. He ignored them at first but once they neared him he ripped his mask off to reveal his deranged scowl of evil! He then leaped forth screaming,”Don’t interfere with my masters ritual!” He brandished his meat cleaver, and the cops were forced to shoot him in self-defense. He collapsed, and died amid the bloody carnage of his innocent slayed victims. Read The Rest Of This Urban Legend On Our Halloween Blog…