Are Jumanji And Other Cursed Supernatural Board Games Real?

The Original Jumanji Film Is Based On A True Story!
Supernatural Jumanji BoardgameIndeed cursed paranormal games do exist!  In fact, Jumanji, a Zulu word meaning “many effects”, is a real game somewhat similar to what was seen in the hit 1995 motion picture starring Robin Williams.  We don’t know all the murky details about the real Jumanji board game, its origins, or current location beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Rumors and anecdotal evidence seem to indicate that Jumanji was the creation of an African Witch Doctor, and a Dark British Witch in the late 1800’s. They were diabolical lovers who sought to perpetuate evil in an eternally unique way. The true inspiration for their game was a deep disdain for Europeans and other outsiders pillaging the sacred lands of Africa for the sake of silly safaris. Oddly enough their intent came from a good place. However, the execution was pure evil!

The crazy couple inadvertently discovered that their planned self-sacrificing deaths to set off the cursed game would allow them to become immortal. They live on in the game and are sometimes released temporarily into the real world during gameplay. Paranormal play that includes herds of dangerous animals stampeding from the game. The board game may also manifest a real overabundance of jungle plant life, aboriginal warriors, and big game hunters! It can also suck players into the games metaphysical world for decades at a time!  Jumanji is currently in the secret possession of the British Royals. It’s said that they purchased it at a secret underground Illuminati auction. Perhaps Queen Elizabeth has played it at least once?

The Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle Video Game Is Real!
Interestingly enough the 2017 movie Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle was inspired by the real-life events that led to the board game being adapted to a video game. A disturbing game in which players are sucked into a virtual jungle of danger appearing as their chosen avatars. A video game loving Wizard named Wazzle had heard the Jumanji legend. Sometime in 2012 he broke into a royal vault in London and stole the Jumanji board game. He carefully studied it’s paranormal programming and began translating it into computer code with the aid of a marvelous Mystic named Velluza. After three months they cracked the complete code and Wazzle began designing the graphics and storyline of the game.  In order to curse his version of Jumanji and make it like the board game, he mercilessly sacrificed Velluza to a Cyber-Demon. This unknown Cyber-Demon now infests the video game tormenting players with glee!

Players who get sucked in and lose the game die as Cyber-Demonic sacrifices who live on in the game as their own personal hell! Winners get to live with the nightmare of their time in the terrifying challenge. Wazzle is instrumental in luring people to the video game he places at key locations around the world to lure in unsuspecting teens and gamers to play. Amazingly it can be played on any gaming platform including PC. For every 13 sacrifices, Wazzle wins another 13 years on Earth past his natural date of death. The last known location of the video game was in Moscow, Russia. It has yet to hit North America but rest assured Wazzle will probably bring it here with the release of the new Jumanji movie. If you manage to get hold of this horrifying game please contact your local paranormal investigator, supernatural warrior, or practitioner of magic. Tread carefully because Wazzle is never far from the game that can magically appear as a compact disk, floppy disk, or video game cartridge!

Incidentally, Wazzle purposely left the Jumanji board game behind at an abandoned hideout after he was done using it to design his video game. He knew that all manner of powerful forces would be after him and he wasn’t interested in playing perpetual hide and seek. Jumanji was ultimately recovered by her Majesties Secret Service. It was promptly returned to the royal vault in London where it now sits. However, it is said that the game is lent out to royals, billionaires, and other VIP’s around the world. In addition secret supernatural sections of the British government conduct testing on the game to unlock its paranormal perplexities.

The Romanian Game Of Death Commisioned By Dracula!
A paranormal board game even more deadly than Jumanji originates from Romania.  It’s called “Joc De Moarte” which literally translates into “game of death” in Romanian.  Joc De Moarte was a board game commissioned in the late 1700’s by the infamous Prince Dracula Of Wallachia. A prominent second-generation member of the global vampire royal family.  Dracula was bored with the monotony of his daily murders, and bloodsucking as the centuries rambled forth before his dark immortal life.  He wanted a real challenge so he looked to the world of magical practitioners to spice up his daily deadly routine.

The infamous Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo took up the challenge to create the ultimate supernatural board game of death!  Back in those days, he had yet to achieve the power he has today as the current King Of Hell.  Back then he actually had some alliances instead of taking on the wayward world independently.  Diablo was friends with Dracula for a time, and he was impressed by the power Diablo wielded.  Over the course of a year, Dimitri perfected the diabolical board game from hell.  When completed Dracula played the first game with Dimitri, another vampire, a witch, a Lycan, and a hapless human.  The playing board runs its way through a damned castle of darkness, and the surrounding Black Forest Of Doom.  Dice, riddle cards, and a small magical crystal ball guide players forward to the end game.

Throughout the blasphemous board game, magical beings materialize out of thin air and attack at will.  They include demons, poltergeists, Earthly Gods, vampires, werewolves, zombies, sorcerers, witches, warlocks, wizards, and miscellaneous malevolent monsters.  The Black Forest Of Doom actually appears in the general area the game is being played at key points. Similar to solid holographic simulations.  In reality, they are active astral projections. Ultimately the frightening game takes players on a quest for the Devil’s Unholy Grail.  A real-life chalice once used by the Devil.  It’s said to give a pure evil soul the ultimate power while damning the rest straight to hell against their will! A pure soul of light would, in fact, destroy the chalice by merely touching it.

The unholy cup is made of cursed Carbonado, aka black diamond, and is said to be forged within the very fire and brimstone of hell itself.  To activate its power a person must drink their own blood from the chalice.  The location of the real chalice is unknown but its said the winner of the game will gain a clue to its location.  The game also duplicates the chalice giving the winner a surge of power courtesy of the Sorcerer Diablo.  During the first game, everyone died except for Dracula, and Dimitri.  However, Dracula nearly died while playing, and at the end, after Dimitri let him win, he thanked Dimitri for the amazingly exciting experience! As the game creator, Dimitri can’t be killed by it.

Joc De Moarte provided Dracula with many decades of fun for him and his guests.  The game is self-powered by powerful demonic spells and works independently of Dimitri Diablo by mystical metaphysical means.  Although most of the game conjures up imaginary supernatural entities there are some real Demons, Gods, ghosts, jinn, monsters, and other hellish entities called forth. Some trapped in the game, and others called from the great beyond. This makes it dangerous even when a player is done with the game since these entities can linger, haunt, and even possess the victim.  Naturally powerful beings like Dracula under demonic protection don’t really have to worry about the after-effects of this most disturbing board game.

Unfortunately, Dracula eventually grew tired of the game and thought it would be funny to release it into the world to plague humankind on a random basis.  Evey cold-hearted supernatural soul loves watching average people enter the frightening world of the paranormal for the first time! By then Dracula and Dimitri had gone their separate ways so he had a wizard tie the games crystal ball to a crystal ball in his castle so he could watch the mayhem the game caused.  It’s also a fair bet that Dimitri can spy on game players at will via his psychic powers. The historical record indicates that the first deaths caused by the released game occurred sometime in the 1840’s.  The deadly game has popped up every so often with morbid consequences all around the planet!

The last recorded sighting was at a Halloween party in Winterset, Iowa in 1977.  43 people lost their lives, including 27 teens, despite the fact, only 6 people were playing the board game.  The entire large two-story home turned into a bloodbath of evil entities unleashed by Dimitri’s deadly spells tied to the seemingly harmless wood, and crystal game.  The US Paranormal Defense Agency quickly swooped in and covered up the massacre due to the obvious paranormal nature of the deaths.  It’s unknown if the game is currently in the Federal government’s custody or if it’s still floating around ready to find it’s way to a new generation of foolish victims. Certainly, it’s a good sign we haven’t heard anything more about this game since 1977!  [Twitter] [Facebook]

2017 Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle Trailer

Watch Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle Online (Estimated To Be Available Online March 2018)

1995 Original Jumanji Movie Trailer

Watch Jumanji Online

Does Everyone Have A Guardian Angel?

Yes just about everyone has a Guardian Angel, and they’re on you right now like white on rice!   Even the Humans who are judged unworthy for ascension to Godhood across the near infinite parallel Universes. A multitude of realities where they lead an amazing number of lives encompassing just about every scenario within reason.  Ascending to Godhood is, of course, the ultimate purpose of humankind despite the establishment religions mantra of eternal servitude to God.  These guardian angels are there to protect the individual and make sure the various life scenarios can be played out to see how a person handles any given situation.  Protection from demons, various other forces of evil, and even just random chaos are the reason for these Heavenly watchers.

Naturally, you might find it creepy, and intrusive to have some invisible person watching every move you make in private.  Luckily we have some good news about that. Evidence deeply suggests that these guardian angels are actually you.  Heaven exists outside of time so your soul or Angel self already exists in Heaven with all the memories of your many lives.  Your first duty as an Angel is to watch over and protect yourself in any particular given Multiverse, aka collection of related Parallel Universes.  Yes, you also exist in other Multiverses and have multiple angel selves who will later be fused together in one Archangel self who can then choose to rise to Godhood, and start their own Omniverse, aka massive collection of Multiverses!

Clearly, it’s convenient to have yourself as a Guardian Angel since you wouldn’t want anyone else seeing every moment of your life. Moments that would inevitably include private compromising, and embarrassing situations. Whether it be sex or even using the crapper!  Thankfully your Guardian Angel also halts potentially awkward intrusions from the Afterlife.  The spirits of deceased family, friends, and even enemies who might phase into your reality violating your privacy.  Guardian Angels even have the authority to censor certain moments from Heavenly Angels. However high-level Archangels, and of course the Omniverse God can simply see everything long distance whether you like it or not!

Amazingly one Guardian Angel watches over all your parallel Universe selves in an entire Multiverse! This may seem like an impossible mission but you’re a higher dimensional super being who can simultaneously be everywhere at once. You’d simply be bored watching over yourself in only one Universe!  It’s hard to comprehend that at this very moment you exist in the first level of Heaven, aka the 6th dimension, as a 5-dimensional being.  A being of amazing power who exists there, and near every biological, or even mechanical body, your soul is intertwined with including right next to you at this very moment as you read this.  You’re smiling at yourself right now.  Just turn to your right, and smile back since guardian angels generally exist on the right side of a person.  Also when you’re talking to yourself you literally are talking to Yourself.  They’re answering right back at you but you obviously can’t hear them. So next time you see a person talking to themselves don’t brand them as a nutty kook, or a sad lonely soul.

Since your Guardian Angel has all your memories they know how your life is supposed to go, and cannot change anything under Universal Laws.   Most likely they wouldn’t want to because they’ve gone through your life, and learned valuable lessons.  They’re now living the sweet life in the great beyond with all their, aka your,  family, and friends.  Although I’m sure they, or you, don’t enjoy seeing you go through the various unpleasant situations of life.  When you look back and wonder how you got through the tough times it’s most likely your Angel self who gave you the strength to succeed. Your metaphysical anchor compelling you to bear the hardships of physical life.

A minute amount of people who are exceptionally evil already have their souls in Hell which isn’t a punishment for them.  They were simply destined to ascend, or more precisely descend, into Demonhood. Those who aren’t considered righteous yet aren’t evil enough to be wanted by the powers of Hell still watch over themselves without fully knowing their ultimate fate.  They still might be judged good in enough other Multiverses.  However, that’s unheard of.  Once they’re unified as an Archangel they’re informed they failed at life, and at that moment they will feel it in their dull hearts.  The unfortunate individual will then be mercifully blinked out of existence.  Man what a rotten note to end this article on. 🙂 Thankfully they exist in other Omniverses, and will always exist in some form in the greater infinite Macroverse.

So how do we know all of this?  You guessed it!  Years of extensive research into ancient secret scrolls, and texts with the knowledge of amazing mystics, and psychics who know the real deal of the great beyond.  Secrets kept from humankind by the religious establishments of the world for the purposes of command, and control.  Now you’ve been enlightened to the truth, and can live secure in your new found knowledge!

How To Communicate With Your Guardian Angel!

October 2nd Is The Memorial Of The Holy Guardian Angels Day

What Can I Do About A Portal To Hell In My Basement?

You’ve had a delightful day and an enchanting evening as the Midnight Witching Hour approaches. You begin smelling sulfur as intermittent high pitched sounds subtly echo through your house. Every so often the lights flicker as thing begin to heat up even as you jack up the air conditioning. The basement seems to be the source. However, you just assume you’re imagining things even as you see a blurry circle or sphere forming before you. This can be in the middle of the room, in the floor, ceiling, or wall. You rub your eyes and decide you simply need some sleep. As you sleep that sphere begins glowing orange with fire as a horrifying mirage of Hell appears!

You awaken during the 3 AM Devil’s Hour in a cold sweat to shrill screams of sheer terror amid calamitous cackling. The thermostat indicates your home is pushing 100 degrees Fahrenheit for no logical reason! You peer down the basement steps to witness an eerie orange glow. You cautiously descend into the horrid smelling basement bellowing with crackling flames, the sounds of suffering, and the deep gleefully laughter of evil. Before you is a window into Hell itself or in some cases the Underworld. Sometimes merely a parallel dimension. If you step close enough you will find out it’s a doorway to a place that nightmares are made of!

Whatever can you do? Why is this living hell even happening? There are many reasons why a portal to Hell would appear in your home. These include Curses, your home is the site of a demonic ritual, a prelude to you or another being possessed by a demon, your home lies on a dark metaphysical energy center, a previously cloaked entrance to the Underworld, or even a random a paranormal anomaly. These are just to name a few! Thankfully, most of the time the demons or dark gods beyond the alarming entrance have no idea it’s there unless they accidentally happen upon it or are in contact with magical practitioners who conjured it. Just stay at least a good six feet away as it may have a powerful gravity-like pull to suck you in!

These things take some hours to form. If you can catch it in time then it can be prevented. Douse the area with holy red sea salt, holy water, and blessed oils while reading verses from the Bible. Getting a Priest to perform an exorcism ritual should work for a rapidly forming Hell portal. If the paranormal portal is already there you can still do all the above while creating a thick holy salt line on the floor around it to prevent anything from coming through. Placing several opened Bible’s or other religious books around it can help as well. Constant prayer may be your only hope when facing this horror! Simply placing a black curtain around it will prevent dark spirits from seeing that it goes to Earth.

In order to close this insane opening, you’ll need a parade of Priests, witches or other magicians. Preferably witches practicing Enochian Angel Magic. They will call upon Angels to close the abomination as they paint Enochian sigil’s all your basement in holy blood! This may bring attention to the portal on the Hell side causing demons to roar forth! Ultimately we have faith in the power of Angels and they will be driven back. The portal will be extinguished! Afterward, paranormal professionals may recommend filling in the basement with blessed cement or even burning the house to the ground in a blaze of holy fire!

If you choose to abandon the house once a Hell portal forms please contact some manner of supernatural savior as it will continue to grow and possibly be an invasion point for Armageddon! If you don’t know who to call then try the US Paranormal Defense Agency (PDA). You can do this by calling 911 with the first words out of your mouth being “PDA”. Then immediately tell the operator what your metaphysical issues is. They will naturally think you’re nuts and plausibly contact mental health services. However, The US PDA through the NSA monitors all communications with an amazing artificially intelligence supercomputer. PDA Agents will be instantly alerted. This will include scrubbing all evidence of your call taking place. Police, mental health services, and any other non-paranormal authorities will be canceled.

More than likely they won’t be able to end the portal but will contain it. Your home and possibly the surrounding acres will become an official top secret base like Area 51. You and other property owners will be paid a pretty penny to move away and never speak of what happened ever again! We suggest you obey the wishes of these Men In Black or you may disappear!