Current Positions Of Paranormal Employment

Your Career In The Exciting World Of Paranormal Investigations

Mystic Investigations is a dynamic, fast growing provider of paranormal, and standard investigation services. We develop cutting edge methods of dealing with the various supernatural entities of evil that plague humankind.  Mystic Investigations provides an energetic, team based work environment in a luxurious high tech facility in Woodland Springs, Colorado. Our employees enjoy competitive benefits including health, life, and dental insurance along with lucrative stock options, and retirement plans.  Opportunity for advancement is always present in the fast growing field of supernatural services.  Our firm uses only the latest technologies to provide the highest quality paid, and pro-bono services to the community.   Check out our roster of current upper echelon employees.

  • Title: Werewolf Hunter
  • Reports To: Chief Security Officer Hunter Jackson, an ex-Navy Seal.  You will also be working with our Chief Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie.  You may report to her when asked to guard Werewolves in our caged basement area.
  • Job Description: With Halloween fast approaching we can expect the usual increase in Werewolf activity under the Blood Moon.  We’re looking for brave, agile, and strong warriors familiar with tracking, hunting, and containing Lycanthropes, or other dangerous paranormal entities, including the weapons of the trade.  You will spend most of you time in the field at night, which will be mainly rural wooded areas, when the Moon is 80% of full or more.  You will also spend time in the cryptozoology lab, and Werewolf holding area as well.  This job is mainly 3rd graveyard shift but you will take part in daytime investigations tracking down humans who are Werewolves.  Travel may be required at a moments notice.  Passport required.
  • Prerequisites: Pervious experience is a must but holding an official position is not required.  Basic associate degree in Lycanthropy is desired along with college credit in General Cryptozoology, Paranormal Tracking, And Investigation.  General battle training in the armed forces is desired including martial arts proficiency.  Before being hired you must pass a target shooting course with a rifle, and crossbow which includes use of live silver bullet rounds, and silver tipped arrows.  You also must be willing to attempt to incapacitate, and capture Werewolves before the last resort of taking them out since they are still humans by day.  Methods include customized guns, and grenades loaded with holy water, Wolfsbane, and colloidal silver.  You must also sign an agreement stating that Mystic Investigations isn’t liable for any injuries, or death that results in the performance of your duties.  Our extensive health insurance, Dental Plans, and life insurance package is your safety net when things go wrong out in the field, or even at our offices.
  • Starting Salary: $49,000 a year plus stock options after 3 years of service.  $1,000 bonus for every Werewolf captured.  $500 for every Werewolf killed as a last resort.  $2,000 hazard pay during 100% full Moon nights, situations with multiple Werewolves, or general dangerous field conditions.

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  • Title: Cryptobotanist
  • Reports To: Chief Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie.  You may also be working with our Chief Practitioner Of Magic Rebecca Abernathy, a white witch.
  • Job Description: You will collect specimens of supernatural plants in the field, and study them back in our laboratory.  We will require you to keep extensive records of newly discovered cryptoplants which may include publishing your findings in reputable Crytobotanical publications for use by paranormal investigators worldwide.  You will also study all manner of plants not of a paranormal variety for their applications in a variety of areas as directed by your superiors.  This job is first shift 9-5 but certain plants may only present themselves in the dead of night so be prepared to alter your sleep schedule.  When fighting the forces of evil we may become outnumbered, and you will need to know how to protect yourself.  On the job battle training will be provided if necessary.  Travel to far away lands will be quite common.  Passport required.  However Woodland Springs is ripe with undiscovered paranormal plants in the Mystical Forest.  
  • Prerequisites:  At least a Masters Degree in Cryptobotany, and a Bachelors Degree in General Botany, and Cryptozoology.  Other related degrees are welcome.  At least 5 years of experience in the Cryptobotany field, and 3 years in botany not related to the supernatural. Knowledge of how herbs, and other plants can be used in the battle against paranormal evil.  College credits in Botanical Defenses Against The Dark Arts is desired. We require you take part in our martial arts, and weapons training program unless you have proof of previous training.  You must also sign an agreement stating that Mystic Investigations isn’t liable for any injuries, or death that results in the performance of your duties.  Our extensive health insurance, and life insurance package is your safety net when things go wrong out in the field, or even at our offices.
  • Starting Salary: $78,000 a year plus stock options after 3 years of service.  $1,000 hazard pay when dealing with dangerous paranormal plants.  $2,000 hazard pay when in the field under dangerous conditions.  Complete health insurance, and Dental Plan.

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  • Title: Supernatural Cleaner
  • Reports To: Any field team member requesting a cleaner.
  • Job Description: You will be in charge of cleaning up various paranormal fluids which may include ectoplasm, blood, miscellaneous bio-goo’s which may be acidic in nature, and various other bodily fluids from supernatural entities.  This may include hazardous, and contagious supernatural bio-containments that need to be cleansed completely for public safety.  You may also need to remove entire bodies as well from our battle scenes which will either be taken back to our laboratory for study, or disposed of to enforce the Supernatural Secrecy Pact.  We may require you to be in the field during a battle in progress ready to clean up our messes which could involve vampires, werewolves, zombies, poltergeists, and various other entities of evil.  You may have to wear a confining hazmat suit complete with oxygen tanks in hot humid weather.  You must also be prepared to travel anywhere at a moments notice along with being availablefor work 24-7.  Passport required.  As our company grows you may be in charge of other cleaners.
  • Prerequisites:  A general love of cleaning up any mess, and the satisfaction of bringing order to things.  An immunity to the effects of various non-toxic wretched stinks, and the sights of extreme bloody gore of a paranormal nature.  You must have experience safely using industrial strength cleansing agents.  Experience in supernatural battle scene clean up is desired but not necessary.  Experience in general crime scene clean up is a must along with related certification in OSHA Hazardous Waste Operations and Emergency Response, and all areas related to dealing with biohazardous materials and bloodborne pathogens.  A paranormal battle cleansing degree will be looked upon quite favorably.  You must also have training in dealing with the zombie virus.  If you don’t have any we will provide you with such training.
  • Starting Salary: $38,000 a year plus stock options after 5 years of service.  $1,000 hazard pay when dealing with dangerous biohazards.  $2,000 hazard pay when in the field under dangerous battle conditions.  Excellent health insurance, and dental plan.

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