Crazy Calamitous Killer Clown

Calamitous ClownAs mentioned in our previous post Vice-President Rebecca Abernathy, and I attended Zack Powers High School Career Day to speak about our experiences as paranormal investigators.  The sessions were rather productive, and I’m confident we recruited a good number of future supernatural saviors to protect humanity from the dangers of our paranormal planet. Although Zack wasn’t at any of our discussions since he’s already in the business after school.  We did however see him in the hallway between classes.  He made a point of showing off by hugging Rebecca who was last years Comanche County Fair Beauty Queen.  There was also a clown merrily skipping about the halls passing out flyers for the grand opening of the “Fun Fridays” amusement restaurant which our entire team was planning to attend later that evening. The clown came up to Rebecca, and I to hand us a flyer.  Both of us were creeped out for some reason despite never having Coulrophobia, a fear of clowns.  Rebecca, as a white witch, and half Mermaid, picked up what she believed to be a rather dark vibe from a clown that didn’t look all that spooky to begin with.

Sometime around 6 PM our entire paranormal investigations team arrived at Fun Fridays to support the new local business (Listen to the background sounds of Fun Fridays).  I spoke with the owner Connor Flanagan, who also owns Flanagan’s Irish Pub, and he was excited to be catering to a whole new family friendly clientele.  We all mingled about enjoying the revelry of the fabulous festivities including video games, virtual reality gear, flight, and race car simulators, indoor water slides, laser tag, a haunted house, and other indoor amusements.  Crazy clowns, including the one we saw at the high school, were scurrying about with glee shooting confetti, and glitter everywhere as kids laughed joyously.  I felt bad for the janitors who had to clean up that shimmering mess!  Most of us enjoyed the laser tag competition that also contained holograms courtesy of special 3-D glasses.  It was certainly a welcome break from our real metaphysical battles fraught with frightening hazards.  With two person teams competing Executive Vice-President Drake Alexander, and I won receiving the coveted Confetti Clown Award.

Demi-Mermaid Rebecca Abernathy made a splash on the water slides, and indoor lazy river.  Especially when her bikini top came off down the steepest slide.  I don’t think I ever saw so many camera flashes going off all at once.  Rebecca’s new Swedish secretary Lars Larsson immediately jumped in the knee high pool at the bottom of the slide with all his clothes on, and cupped both her bare breasts with his hands while having a false look of urgency on his face as if he was really protecting her from being embarrassed.  Of course she never is, and was amused by the attention she received. Yeah I didn’t like Lars doing that one bit, and it was a cheap move on his part!  I handed her the bikini top as I shoved him aside causing him to fall into the water completely.  He was gagging after sucking in some chlorinated water going down the wrong pipe.  He’s been asking for it ever since he was hired due to his constant flirting with Rebecca.  It’s strange how he has an MBA, and had a six figure job at a huge Swedish corporation yet quits to work at our small company.  Like that clown there’s something not quite right about Lars. Even though I’m President I can’t countermand Rebecca’s departmental decisions without good reason.  Unfortunately I can’t site sexual harassment since this incident happened outside of work, and Rebecca clearly didn’t even seem to acknowledge his hands upon her.  When I asked her about it later she said he was just trying to protect her.

Our resident Vampire Drake Alexander was surrounded by single moms for a great deal of the night after our laser tag competition.  Apparently his Scottish vampirical charm was too much to resist for the cougars on the prowl.  If only they knew he was over 700 years old despite barely looking a day over 30!  As the Midnight closing of Fun Fridays approached Drake, and his female entourage, left to go to the nearby Irish Pub while sending their kids home with relatives, or friends.  With his attention squarely on the ladies he wasn’t able to detect the descending of a demonic presence into a willing vessel.  That vessel being the creepy clown who was deep into demon worship.  Since vampires are demonic beings they are keenly aware of any other demonic forces afoot…unless of course their lust gets the better of them!  Rebecca was showering the chlorine off in the girls locker room when Lars attempted to walk in with a towel.  I firmly shoved my hand into his chest while grabbing the towel, and saying,”That’s the girls locker room Poindexter!  I’ll wait for Julia, and give it to her.”  I expected Julia, our telekinetic psychic, to be done on the water slides any second.  Lars walked away with a frown on his face.  Suddenly Julia ran up with a scared look on her face.  That look she gets after having a disturbing premonition.  She frantically exclaimed,”A little girl is in danger…”

The screams of a small girl came from the locker room causing Rebecca to drop her soap, and come running out to find the creepy clown running away with her behind some lockers.  As Rebecca rounded the corner she saw a panel of lockers opened into a hidden passage of some type.  The rainbow haired clown disappeared into the darkness, and the auburn haired Demi-Mermaid ran in after him just as the huge door composed of lockers closed.  Julia, and I scoured the mostly deserted locker room minus an overweight middle aged woman wearing nothing who screamed when I ran past.  LOL!

We saw nothing until I followed Rebecca’s wet footprints which ended at the lockers on the far wall of the locker room.  A woman came into the locker room yelling, “Cynthia it’s time to go home!  I let you stay here long enough, and that Scottish guy left anyway!”  She ran into us, and we told her about hearing a girls scream along with Rebecca disappearing.  Julia felt along the lockers with her hands looking to pick up psychic energy while the girls mother frantically searched the locker room calling out to her daughter.   Julia stopped at one locker in particular, and said that the opening of the locker, with combination lock, would reveal a secret passage

Meanwhile Rebecca wandered about the nearly pitch dark corridors that sloped downward.  Too dark even for her enhanced Demi-Mermaid vision so she utilized her echolocation sonar by emitted ultrasounds silent to human ears.  Dim light was finally had along with the profuse crying of a small girl amid the crazy cackling of a deranged clown.  Rebecca walked in still wearing nothing but her long hair covering her bare bosoms.  What she saw was a disturbing demonic altar of wacko worship with a small brown haired girl tied upon it.  He was writing symbols on the girls face with what appeared to be blood. Rebecca then screamed,”Hey clown kook the jigs up!  Let the girl go, and I might let you live!”  The startled 6′ 2″ heavy set clown turned around, and got an eye full of the 5’9″ slender build woman free of clothing which causing him to say,”Oh my sweetheart! Welcome to the party! My dark lord will appreciate an additional sacrifice even if you don’t possess the innocent magic of childhood.”  He grabbed a large meat cleaver, and came at Rebecca swinging just as she yelled,”Mystic Sphere!”  Usually a pink translucent protective energy bubble appears around her but this time nothing happened.  She tried to move out of the way but got sliced in the upper arm.  Since she was still wet from the shower the water accelerated her already quick Mermaid healing.  The wound shimmered azure blue, and she was as good as new within seconds!

The clown who had been laughing maniacally suddenly stopped, and said,”What mannerDemonic-Clown of beast are you my dear?”  She then replied,”The kind that’s going to kick your sorry ass!”  She then kicked the cleaver from his hand, and began to engage in hand to hand combat.  She decided not to use any of her witchcraft powers as she suddenly sensed the room was resistant to magic.  So she relied on her Mermaid strength, and fighting skills.  She had the bastard on the ground until he screamed out like a baby,”Almortis save me!”  Suddenly an orange light dove from the alter past the scared girl, and into the murderous clown whose appearance turned hideously demonic in nature.

The shark toothed monster threw Rebecca off him as if she was a rag doll. It sent her crashing into the concrete wall with such force that a large chipped crater was created in the wall.  Rebecca lie on the floor bleeding, and knocked out cold.  The demonic clown monster, a demon completely possessing a human down to the DNA level, descended upon her apparently ready to devour Rebecca alive while the little girl screamed profusely.  He turned around, and pointed at her while sternly declaring,”SLEEP!”  The girl fell into a deep sleep relieved of any more trauma from the paranormal events.

Back in the locker room I had forced the locker open on pure adrenaline but the secret panel wouldn’t open.  It seemed the revealing of the secret passage lie in the combination lock that had some spell on it which prevented Julia from getting a psychic reading.  We got the rest of the team in there, and had the owner close the place while we battered away at the wall.  Hunter Jackson, our ex-Navy Seal, even got his machine gun out of his Hummer, and blasted away but clearly a protection spell was in place.  I called Drake at the Irish Pub, and he raced over within 30 seconds.  He touched the combination lock, and it opened the entire row of lockers to reveal the secret passage.  We discovered only a demonic related being could open the door.  Which means only Drake or our newest Werewolf team member, Seth Morgan, could have entered.  Seth had gone off to a movie with our Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie.  We all quickly entered the pitch dark corridor, and headed to parts unknown.

The monstrous clown was about to take a bite out of Rebecca when her streams of violet colored blood stopped flowing at the same time she let out a loud pitched screech that caused all glass in the room to break.  The clown covered his ears in pain while Rebecca kicked him in his demon family jewels.  He fell to the ground, and she got up with a justifiable smug smile.  As she kicked him the demon sprung up while roaring like an rabid Grizzly Bear.  He stated in a sinister gravely voice,”No Mermaid witch is going to get the better of Lord Almortis.  You should be bowing to me bitch!”  Rebecca’s dark blue eyes began to glow neon blue as she utilized her Mermaid Hydrokinesis powers on the water still in her hair. She shaped all of it into thin sharp liquid daggers.  Water daggers sent with such force that it skewered the clown in several places.  He was stopped momentarily whilst bellowing out in agony.  Unfortunately he quickly recovered and slapped Rebecca into a corner causing boxes of confetti, and glitter to burst about.

I ran in at that moment, and yelled,”Nobody puts Rebecca in corner!”  I let loose a deadly reign of silver plated ninja stars upon him while Hunter fired a few silver bullets for good measure.  Then Drake started beating down on him with his super strength.  Normally a 5th generation vampire wouldn’t be a match for a fully demon possessed human but the silver weakened him.  Even if we took down the clown, this Almortis would just leave the body, and go back to whatever plane of existence he came from free to return to find a new host for his horrors. Thankfully Rebecca realized the altar had some important significance due to the dark witchcraft writings she read upon it.  She carefully removed the little girl Cynthia to Julia’s arms, and destroyed the altar.  The clown looked shocked as Rebecca said,”He’s trapped in that body now.  If the clown dies he dies!  His entire soul is in there, and he will be blinked from existence!”  The scared demonic clown screamed in horror,”Nooooooooo!” while Drake had him roughly by his polka dot clown jumpsuit. Exorcist, and demon expert, Father Tom Davis was present, and he requested to do the honors.  He pulled out a silver crucifix, with a dagger at the end, blessed by himself in holy water. He then plunged it into the heart of Almortis.  A blast of orange light could be seen coming from the clown as he slumped on to the floor in a lifeless mass.

Lars came in just then with a towel to cover Rebecca up as he leered at her with lust in his weasel like heart.  The little girl woke up after Almortis was dispatched, and her Mom was overjoyed to see she was okay.  Fun Fridays Owner Connor Flanagan was disgusted by what happened, and we agreed to keep this a secret because he didn’t deserve to have his business tainted by this atrocity.  He told us the clown, aka Harold Sparks, sold him the building at a huge discount.  We now know the clown just wanted a supply of kids to sacrifice, and this was the easiest way to get them to his demonic lair quickly.  After looking into Sparks history we found out he moved all around the country, and everywhere he left there were unsolved murders.  So we took down a dangerous demon, and a serial killing clown making the world a far safer place!

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