The Valentines Plague Doctor

I, Mystic Investigations President Xavier Remington, led a paranormal team to investigate the Adirondack Abomination in upstate New York. Ultimately we were unable to capture the creature but we did collect a lot of interesting data. The rest of the team, led by Executive Vice-President Drake Alexander, headed to New York City on Valentines Day 2018. They came across the Plague Doctor, Typhoid Mary, and some of his legion of Oath Breakers who are all apart of the greater Plague Doctor Cult! We had originally got wind of something big going down there for the Valentines season but the final intelligence only came to us at the last second! These sick plague loving puppies employed an armada of street walkers to purposely spread new strains of STD’s among the unsuspecting populace. Strains specially created by the Plague Doctor himself. Naturally, these women of the night were charging fees far below that of the average prostitute in order to lure weak-willed men, and even women, into their wanton web of despicable diseases!

Our resident demi-mermaid witch Rebecca Abernathy, telekinetic psychic Julia Hathaway, and demi-zombie Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie posed as prospective street walkers. Rebecca had everyone, including herself, disguised with a magical Glamour spell to alter their appearances. Otherwise, odds are good they would be recognized as members of Mystic Investigations since we are an international supernatural crime-fighting firm! We had learned about a recruitment station in an abandoned wharf side warehouse that would be taking place at Midnight. I swear this sinister stuff always goes down in abandoned warehouses between the Witching Hour and dawn! There our ladies came across the deceptively lovely Typhoid Mary. An asymptomatic carrier of a plethora of diseases including her infamous Typhoid. This meant she could spread disease yet not display any symptoms herself. She wore a surgical mask and kept her distance from everyone as she wished not to infect the participants with various diseases. Thankfully, Rebecca could not catch anything courtesy of her mermaid side. Ashley was half zombie and therefore half dead so it was not a worry for her. On the other hand, Julia was only human so she had to tread carefully.

Ultimately, everyone was selected on the condition they get it on with the Plague Doctor, also known as Dr. Darius Maximilian and Dr. Darius Death. He’s an asymptomatic carrier of every disease known and not known to humankind! Some say he even infected himself with the zombie virus yet remain unaffected! He is the ultimate Patient Zero of everything! This denizen of diseased darkness also has supernatural Disease Manipulation abilities. He can actually decide what disease he will give someone and doesn’t have to always wear his infamous bird’s beak mask. He certainly had it off for what he called “Ritualistic Entry Into His Cult”. That being sex with all the women in the room to spread his sickening STD strains so that they may, in turn, give them to the general populace as a Valentines Day gift. Naturally, he promises magical countermeasures to ensure they don’t suffer the symptoms. However, eventually they do and he could care less if they die once they’ve served their usefulness! He considers the average person a so-called “Useful Idiot”.

Rebecca wanted to put a stop to this so she stripped naked to get the Doctors attention! Indeed he wanted her to be first. LOL! Being a Mermaid-Human Hybrid she was the hottest chick in the room with or without a Glamoured facade. The Doctor made a beeline for her while wearing nothing but a pair of boxers with black crows on them. It would have been a joke if it wasn’t a very real dangerous situation. Rebecca embraced him and then screamed,”Mystic Sphere!” This activated a pink translucent astral energy sphere around her and the Doctor. As she yelled,”movere deinceps!” they shot through the concrete wall sending chunks of stone everywhere!  Typhoid Mary yelled,”Noooooo! Darius!” She ran after him while motioning to some minions near the exits to follow her. The prospective women just stood there with shocked looks on their faces. Ashley and Julia bellowed for the ladies to leave as they were in grave danger. Indeed they ran for the doors. Ashley tapped into her zombie side while Julia summoned up her telekinetic powers to deal with the Plague Doctors minions!

Meanwhile, near the water’s edge Rebecca purposely crashed the Plague Doctor into a huge metal bollard meant for tying up a giant freighter. Her bubble burst and she flew into the ice cold bay. He was dazed as he got to his knees. At that moment our very own Drake Alexander, vampire extraordinaire, bit into his neck with a bellowing roar. His enraged eyes glowing crimson over this despicable servant of darkness. Drake had hoped to weaken him and even acquire his paranormal powers temporarily through his blood. Something vampires can do with most supernatural beings. However, upon ingesting his beyond vile tasting blood laden with toxic disease he knew it was a mistake! Drake fell to the ground literally sick to his stomach as the brownish red sludge the Plague menace calls blood oozed down his chin.

The Doctor Of Death rose forth holding Drake’s neck and lifting him into the air with super strength! All the while cackling like a wacko! He glared at Drake saying,”Oh filthy vampire did you really think you were a match for me!? I’ve survived countless centuries and gone up against far greater than you! Still, this is fortuitous as I have a wonderful new disease brewing in me you might like a taste of. A virus I’m hoping will kill every one of you vexing vampire vermin! You have the honor of being my first test subject. Since you drank my blood the virus is in you as we speak. Unfortunately, the viral strain is stubbornly dormant so I need to give it a little kick to let loose its living hell upon your blood sucking DNA!” He grabbed the weakened Drake and pulled his head downward while displaying a sinister smile. The Plague Doctor’s eyes glowed a toxic brown hue as he was about to literally plant the kiss of death upon Drake.

Thankfully, a now clothed and De-Glamoured Rebecca fired forth a volley of mini Mystic Spheres or metaphysical energy balls. The Doctor cried out in pain and dropped Drake to the ground. The Plague Doctor then fell to the ground himself while screaming in agony as Rebecca began shooting lightning from her hands courtesy of her relationship with quite a few Lightning Goddesses. Rebecca’s eyes glowed green with the magic of witchcraft but began turning yellow as red illumination born of anger mixed in. She not only knew of the evil suffering this man had spread through the centuries but also sensed it within him as well. It was time for him to die in order to save countless future lives! She called upon all her magics and let the dark doctor have all of it with extreme prejudice! It seemed the living paranormal plague was about to expire when Typhoid Mary tackled Rebecca into the dark chilling waters of the wharf!

Back inside the warehouse, Ashley’s eyes turned zombie gray just short of silver as she attempted not to lose herself in mindless madness! She bit into some of the thugs with a low guttural sound vibrating forth. Julia telekinetically tossed crates and other large objects at the rest. One pulled out a gun and fired but she changed the route of the bullet to hit the wall instead of her! Julia had taken out her punks and had to pull Ashley off the last one as she began eating him alive! Ashley pushed her away with eyes now a reflective silver as flesh and blood dripped down her pale white chin. She growled as Julia reached her mind with empathic abilities to calm her down. Ashley snapped out of it and was human again! The dynamic duo ran outside to see where everyone else went.

Rebecca was quite drained due to all the power she mustered up and was having quite a time tussling with Typhoid Mary in the frigid water. Mary herself had enhanced strength like the Plague Doctor. This courtesy of the Gods that they worship. That being two of the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse. Pestilence and Death! Rebecca was more agile in the water being half mermaid and eventually tapped into her hydrokinetic powers to shoot Mary back onto the dock in a torrent of water. Rebecca wriggled out of the water like an excited dolphin minus the tail. Her eyes illuminated sapphire with the heritage of Atlantis behind her. Ashley and Julia ran up stopping the Doctor from crawling away. Rebecca punched Mary in the jaw knocking her out cold! Drake rested against a bollard extremely ill from the poisonous blood. The weakened Plague menace sneered and angrily declared,”You have no idea who you’re dealing with! The wrath of Pestilence and Death will be brought down on you like a plague of rapid diseased locusts!”  Everyone shrugged and Rebecca smiled saying,”Sounds like fun plague boy!”

Rebecca wanted to kill the whole lot of Plague Cultist scum. Heck, quite a few of the minions were dead by Ashley’s zombified bite and Julia’s launching of heavy crates upside heads! Drake ordered them to take the Plague Doctor and Typhoid Mary into custody so we could turn them over to the great Sorcerer Ian McTavish. He owns a super maximum paranormal prison in addition to running his Magic School in Scotland. Rebecca reluctantly took out magically spelled shackles and placed them on the disgusting duo. Suddenly the already cloudy skies grew ominously thick with black fog swirling down onto the dock. Thunderous lightning crackled across the skies! The Plague Doctor snickered in triumph,”Ah yes fools I feel the presence of Death! Your time is up!” Indeed a skeletal specter wearing a black hooded robe and holding a large sharp scythe appeared! It was the ultimate Grim Reaper Death himself!

Death swung his scythe at Rebecca but Drake sprung forth and took the blow to his chest. It caused a gaping wound but didn’t kill him since he’s a vampire and technically dead. Rebecca shot Death with an enchanted energy volley but he absorbed it while letting loose a laugh so loud it caused immense pain in everyone’s ears and shattered all the windows in the warehouse. His spectral form became more solidified as he took complete physical form. Rebecca tried again but her magic was no match for this literal personification of death for the entire Omniverse! Nothing short of Omnimagic would possibly work against this terrifying titan! The Plague Doctor begged,”My deliciously dark Lord please accept everyone here except my dear Mary as sacrifices to you and your honorable comrade in arms Pestilence!” Death responded,”Yes my son I accept these sacrifices!” The Grimmest Of Reapers waved his hand and the shackles disintegrated from his and Mary’s wrists. They both sprung up re-energized and smirking in smug glee!

Death’s eyes amazingly glowed black! He then exclaimed,”And now you all shall die! The vampire and the zombie will be excised leaving only their humanity for my scythe of death to take! You will live within my dark void for all eternity!” He swung his implement of terror wildly but a thick thunderous beam of orange flames knocked his scythe from his hand. Everyone was shocked to see it was the Devil himself with his young son the Anti-Christ in tow. The boy appeared to be about 7 years old even though his birth in April 2015 would only make him 3. Death was a bit surprised but quickly recovered as his sharp implement flew back to his hand. He then angrily yelled,”Satan you really think you’re a match for me?” The Devil replied,”Perhaps not but with my son, my Archdemons, and the King Of Hell we might stand a chance!” The Super Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo stepped from a flaming portal with several Arch-Demons following him. It seems the war for power in Hell was over and Diablo entered into a truce with the Devil! Diablo’s magic was so amazing that he was able to oust the Devil from power even being only human! Both had their own demonic factions and Diablo accepted remaining King so as long as he accepted the Devil as Hell’s Emperor. The Devil would be busy with Armageddon War plans while Diablo managed Hell itself with the gift of additional Archdemon abilities.

Death inquired,”Why do you care what happens to these puny physical beings?” The Devil replied,”They’re destined to be major players in the apocalypse and I’m a stickler for prophecy!” Diablo added,”You’re also forbidden by God from being on Earth until your own prophesied Armageddon battles. I’d leave before Archangels get wind of your presence here!” Death laughed and replied,”Oh yes you boys love playing by the rules! As for you Diablo I will be reaping you very soon! Until we meet on the battlegrounds of the end times!” Death vanished into a black fog with the Doctor and Mary in his grip! After they were gone everyone stared in awkward silence.  Drake muttered,”I guess we should thank you…” The Devil interrupted,”Don’t think I haven’t forgotten your role in trapping me on Earth during the First Battle Of Armageddon! It may have turned out for the best in the end…” He turned to smile at his new partner Diablo who was now no longer the eternal loner. “…but I never forget a wrong against me! Mystic Investigations will ultimately die a horrendous death on my battlefield of brimstone and blood! Then I will drag your souls to Hell for all eternity!”

Drake, Rebecca, Julia, and Ashley looked on in silent shock as the skies abruptly cleared and rays of white light streamed down on everyone. The Devil then yelled,”Oh crap back to sweet Hell everyone!” The devilish gang re-entered the portal of Hell and disappeared. At that moment the white light vanished as well but not before healing Drake’s wound along with the sickness caused by the Plague Doctor’s nasty blood! Truly it was simultaneously the most terrifying and then the most peaceful experience ever! Rebecca said,”Darn I thought we were going to see some angels!” Drake replied,”Ah someday Rebecca! Someday! Let’s call the police to collect the thugs left alive in the warehouse. I’m sure the criminal scum have warrants for their arrests.” They all stopped at an all-night diner to eat before flying away in the Mysticopter hidden nearby. They picked the rest of our team up in the Adirondack Mountains and home to Woodland Springs, Colorado we flew!

Final Footnote: Drake Alexander has always been a free spirit who cares not for the Transylvanian vampire royals. However, he extended an olive branch and told them that The Plague Doctor may have a virus that kills vampires. Now all vampires have standing orders to kill Doctor Death on sight if they can! [Twitter]

The Vampire Cortez

Previously On Mystic Investigations (Click Here For Part 1)…
Cortez CompoundThe Vampire Cortez is listed in the global vampire archives as a despicable 971 year old 4th generation vampire who preys on humans for blood, and relishes in a prolonged agonizing kill! All generations of vampire 13, and higher are considered royalty to some extent so we had to tread lightly with this blasphemous bastard for fear of incurring the wrath of Transylvanian First Generation Royals! Especially since this puke appears to have participated in at least a handful of human hunts with Dracula back in the 1800’s. We’re not sure if they’ve kept in touch but if Dracula didn’t kill him then he must consider him at least worth a crap! Cortez holds the official vampire royal title of Marquess Of Central Colorado which gave him further prestige, and protection courtesy of higher level vampires!  So we had our work cut out for us if we were to save the newly discovered Immortal Fred Jacobson from his clutches!

The only thing on our side was the fact that apparently Cortez had a reputation for reckless rampages that threatened to expose vampires to the world.  He received a few slaps on the wrist from Transylvania, and wised up. He now satisfies his insatiable blood lust, and need to murder humans via elaborate gaslighting schemes. Especially when dealing with beings possessing special blood such as Immortals. Basically he, and his thugs drive their victims crazy, and then pose as mental health officials who implore families to commit the victim for their own good. This was the case with Fred who eventually began to act sane once we hid him at one of our safe houses. Unfortunately when dealing with vampires, and their insane sense of smell, instinct, and psychic abilities, it’s rather hard to hide from them!  We had to keep moving Fred around until we resolved this matter one way or another!

Our Scottish vampire associate Drake Alexander is known as somewhat of an outsider who has no interest in being apart of the vampire royal hierarchy.  Since he is a 5th generation vampire they leave him alone for the most part. Especially since his vampire mother, Duanna Sargon, is an extremely beguiling ancient 4th generation vampire princess who is beloved by many royals including King Dagan. Although his wife Queen Gula is very jealous of her. It’s rumored Dagan, and Duanna once had an affair back in 344 BC Ancient Greece. Supposedly they did it at Aristotle’s house. Amazingly we do know for sure that Dagan made him a vampire, and he’s still alive somewhere in Greece!  As for the rest unfortunately it’s not one of those things you can just casually ask a person! Believe me I’m dying to know! So Duanna will visit Cortez, and do all the talking with Drake in tow just in case there’s any trouble. The rest of us would not be welcome there…well we would as dinner!

The Demi-Zombie Ashley Abercrombie was doing better but still feels deep remorse over killing those four thugs in white. We still can be believe she went full zombie on them!  You should never go full zombie! The Good Witch Rebecca Abernathy returned from Ashley’s house now that her boyfriend, the Werewolf Seth Morgan, was back in town. She wanted to just go ahead with a frontal assault on the Vampire Cortez’s Colorado Springs compound wiping out his entire organization leaving no clue of our involvement behind. I’m not sure if we have the power to do that but Rebecca is usually the impulsive one who wants to mow through the forces of darkness with her powerful witchcraft. The total opposite of the normally calm, reserved, and rational Ashley Abercrombie. Rebecca was disappointed in seeing no action but I told her to be ready just in case!  Certainly the Vampire Cortez, and all his cohorts deserved to die since Vampire Slayers consider him a top prize in Colorado. It’s estimated he’s the most prolific killer of humans in our State, and possibly the entire Western United States!

Duanna flew in on her private jet from her palace in Turkey, and went with Drake to the Cortez Compound not long after sunset.  Not only were there human minions but also vampire thugs as well. They all looked upon Duanna with lust but Drake with disgust. Drake was disgusted as well to see various human males, and females lying about who looked emaciated as they were drained of blood under the hypnotic spell of the living dead. Cortez happily greeted his guests in his den of iniquity, and hid his disdain for Drake. The plan was to charm him before breaching the subject of Fred.  An egotistical vampire with his level of pride was sure to say no without some buttering up.  He got very intimate with Duanna as they snuggled, and giggled near the hearth while Drake sat in a chair nearby nursing his 100 year old Scotch. Finally Duanna asked if he could release Fred Jacobson to them in exchange for a future favor. A favor from a powerful Vampiress like Duanna was worth a lot in the vampire community!

Despite this he still refused until Drake said,”We’ll give you the Immortal Keanu Reeves!” That got his attention as he had a look of pleasant surprise on his face. Even dare I say a slight sign of a joyful tear appeared! He replied,”Oh sweet son of Satan are you serious? You can get me the Immortal Reeves?”  Drake responded,”Yes he thinks we’re good friends so I can lure him here.”  Cortez then inquired,”Why would you give up the most prized human blood asset on Earth for a pathetic sub-standard immortal slob like Fred?” Drake then lied, and said,”Keanu has insulted me on several occasions, and his ego needs to be taken down a few pegs! It’s the perfect opportunity to teach him a lesson, and solve our little problem.  You don’t mind if I visit every so often to gloat, and taunt him?” Cortez finally agreed,”Oh of course I wouldn’t mind welcoming the man who made me the envy of the vampire world! Reeves I would not extinguish! He would be a fine wine to savour for all eternity! Yes if you can get me Keanu then Fred is yours! Not much of a deal on your end but whatever floats your boat pal!”

He cackled like a loon for a bit as Duanna, and Drake prepared to leave. Suddenly he said,”Ah Duanna I think we have some unfinished business my dear!  I do believe a sign of good faith would help me believe you’re really going to hand Keanu over to me! This just all seems too good to be true! After centuries of eluding us the holy grail of blood is just tossed on my doorstep like an edition of The Gazette!”  Duanna sighed a bit, and strolled toward Cortez smiling seductively before passionately kissing him. They then both headed upstairs to his bedroom suite.  Drake was about to protest but Duanna raised a hand silently ordering him to back down.  He sat back in his chair, and his super hearing eventually heard amorous sounds coming from upstairs. He was quite agitated by the unsavory situation but kept his cool while he sat alone in the dimly lit den.

Twenty minutes passed, and he eventually blocked out the salacious sounds.  Especially since another noise hit his ears. A noise of silent desperation. A girl who couldn’t have been more than 13 was crying in the basement,”I want to go home! Mommy help me!” Suddenly the deep voice of a man screamed,”Shut up you little brat! Master will have you later tonight!” He laughed maniacally as the sound of a metal door slamming shut could be heard. Drake knew they were here on a specific mission, and it wasn’t to save all the lost human souls in this hell hole. It went against everything he stood for. After hearing the girl cry for five more minutes, along with empathically feeling the living hell all manner of people were going through, he had enough!

Drake strolled out of the den, and was immediately halted with two hands on his chest. One from each of two guards standing outside the door.  Both were vampires.  Drake smiled, and said,”I’m dying for some blood! Could I please visit your blood cellar?”  One of them angrily replied,”Nobody gets blood in this house unless Master commands it! Get back in the den traitor!”  Drake then replied,”I’m not a traitor! I just want to be free, and live my own way.”  The other one responded,”Yeah we know you kill our kind you bastard! If Master ordered us we’d stake your ass right now!”  Drake’s grin left his face as his eyes glowed seriously crimson, and he appeared a bit monstrous with fangs extended.  Drake then exclaimed,”Thankfully I’m not a pathetic lackey who kisses a Masters ass. I don’t need anyone’s permission to do this!”  Drake pulled out a wooden stake, and vanquished the two vampires before they could say a word. They burst into unholy violet flames, and were ash within seconds.

Another vampire had been walking nearby, and came running since the sound of extinguished vampire makes a very distinct noise. Drake quickly snapped his neck, and then proceeded to decapitate him with his bare hands causing another cloud of ash to fly about the now smokey room! Luckily there were no surveillance cams as they couldn’t risk someone tapping into the feed, and having video proof of vampires for the mainstream media to see!  Drake looked around nervously as he called Rebecca Abernathy on his cell phone. He whispered, “It’s a go! I’m taking down this sick bastard!” Rebecca excitedly replied,”Yes!” She was right outside the compound as she bellowed,”Mystic Sphere!“, and flew on to the property in her protective witchcraft based pink metaphysical energy bubble. As she came whizzing on to the compound grounds some guards looked up, and fired machine guns at her but the bullets bounced off. Flying in behind her was the rest of our team in the Mysticopter flown by none other than myself with Ex-Navy Seal Hunter Jackson in the co-pilot seat.  It’s a highly advanced military attack helicopter with all manner of weaponry. Certainly it’s not legal to own but nobody can prove it even exists! While Rebecca fired volleys of magical energies we shot bullets, and missiles with extreme prejudice!

Meanwhile in Cortez’s bedroom his super senses, including his psychic abilities, had no indication of the carnage reigning down on his despicable compound. Despite him, and Duanna being 4th Generation vampires, she was far more powerful due to being over 4000 years old while he was a spring chicken at barely 1000 years old!  She had him completely compelled in her sensual love trance. This was necessary to prevent him from psychically informing the royals around the world that Mystic Investigations had attacked him!  The other vampires were quite young, and not powerful enough to do that. They were sire bonded to Cortez who was their Master. Their living dead father who brought them across into the dark shadows of bloody eternal damnation!

We landed the chopper just as Rebecca’s supernatural sphere crashed through the front doors causing splinters to fly about.  Our talented team followed her in dressed in black military garb armed with everything in our arsenal!  Drake continued to stalk, and stake vampires, and guards around the house while we took the rest head on.  He began rounding up human captives, and guiding them out the back doors. Drake made his way to the basement, and witnessed the sheer horror of innocent people locked away in lion cages. In fact there were a few cages with lions, tigers, and grizzly bears in them! Apparently Cortez was a big shot who liked to show off by wresting wild animals! Drake began releasing people, and guiding them to the exits while talking down armed punks along the way. He was riddled with bullets but they didn’t affect his living dead body! He was about to unlock the cage of the girl he heard crying when a huge heavy set 7 foot tall vampire headlocked him from behind!  Drake was a very muscular 6′ 2″. However he was puny in comparison to this vampire hulk! Of course in the supernatural world, especially when it comes to vampires, size doesn’t usually mean a thing!  It’s unknown who this vampire was but Drake was in the fight of his life even being a 5th generation 740 something vamp.  He bit into the flesh of the vampires arm causing him to howl out in pain, and release Drake. The girl in the cage screeched loudly as they punched, and kicked each other racing around the room at speeds so fast that the human eye could barely keep track of the two!

The vampire hulk was getting desperate, and started releasing animals from the cages. Clearly the hulk must be the one who feeds them because they all ignored him, and went for Drake! He swatted off the behemoth beasts like he was batting away annoying squirrels. However they were enough of a distraction for the hulk to get the upper hand. He got Drake in another headlock with one arm while wielding a stake from behind with the other. He started pressing it on Drake’s chest. Two lions, and a tiger were biting chunks of flesh out of Drake’s legs as he yelled out in unimaginable pain!  Then a big bear literally bit his balls right off causing a shriek so loud that it shattered all the glass in the basement! No worries those grow back on a vampire! LOL!

Upstairs bullets, knives, stakes, Chinese Stars, and even kitchen sinks were flying all over the place. It was a war zone as the mansion was lit ablaze by vampires bursting into final flames. Rebecca’s magical reserves were waning, and she took to hand to hand combat beating the hell out of two vampires via her Demi-Mermaid strength, speed, and agility.  She then used her hydrokinetic mermaid powers to launch a firehose force stream of water from a pipe nearby. It blasted two other vampires right though a giant window! Julia Hathaway was tossing vamps, and human guards aside with her telekinesis when she came to Rebecca’s side, and said,” I sense Drake is about to die!”  Upstairs Duanna sensed the same thing to her horror. It was enough of a distraction to weaken her hold on Cortez. He suddenly became aware of more than half his men being dead as the sounds of gunfire, and screams wafted upstairs with the smell of his house on fire!

Cortez attempted to get up but Duanna was on top of him. She held him down forcibly as both their eyes glowed red with anger. He finally launched her to the ceiling causing plaster to reign down as he sped away naked at super speed! After she hit the bed, and it collapsed, she darted away after him at lightning speed buck naked as well! However a trap door was activated, and she plummeted into a sub-basement dungeon knee deep with swampy water chock full of crocodiles!  Somewhat dazed after hitting her head on the stone floor she raised above the water line to see a dozen crocs closed in on her with jaw snapping hunger for flesh of any type.  She then had a sly grin on her face as she said,”Well this should be interesting!”

There was no lull in the battle to call upon nature deities for power so Rebecca concentrated all her metaphysical power reserves to reanimate her Mystic Sphere.  It crashed down through the floor with her inside, and she hit the vampire hulk from behind sending both him, Drake, the lions, the tiger, and bear flying into a concrete wall that crumbled.  All the creatures, including Drake, and the hulk vamp, were dazed as Rebecca helped the 13 year old girl, and others left from their cages. Rebecca knew Drake was fine. A head on crash into a concrete wall was no big woof for him! The wild animals shook off the attack running toward Rebecca but she waved her hand, and they sat obediently.  All the beasts were under her dominion courtesy of her Zoopathic animal control powers! As A Demi-Mermaid this worked perfectly with sea life, and to varying degrees with land animals.

The Hulk finally got up, and punt kicked a still groggy Drake into another concrete wall causing it to crumble. He then proceed to launch himself at Rebecca! He tackled her to the ground roaring like a lion with fangs extended, and eyes illuminated in a state of rage! Her Mermaid strength was no match for this gargantuan vampire. He leaned in ever closer to her neck as he prepared to savour her sweet magical mermaid blood which would unfortunately grant him temporary Mermaid, and Witchcraft powers. He would be virtually unstoppable for a number of hours if that happened!  Just as he was about to sink his teeth into her he stopped short with a dumb look on his face as he began chuckling like a little girl.  Suddenly he burst into purple flames, and turned to gray paranormal powder raining all over Rebecca. When the dust cleared the 13 year old girl was standing there with a stake smiling from ear to ear.  She helped Rebecca up, and said,”I come from a long line of vampire slayers. I was in training with my mother when Cortez kidnapped me!” Drake hobbled over on his virtual skeleton legs with most of the flesh eaten off it, and said,”Let’s finish these bastards off, and get the hell out of here!”

Everyone, including the young vampire slayer, loaded onto the Mysticopter, and I forcibly declared,”Let’s light these bastards up!”  Machine gun fire, and bullets reigned terror upon the compound, and the minions of Cortez who remained stubborn in the defense of their Master’s property.  Ashley Abercrombie, and one of our investigators Elizabeth Weatherly, took the innocent victims away into the safety of the woods in back of the compound. We were hovering low taking out some straggling vamps running out the front of the burning hulk of a mansion in a panic! We let the wooden stake bullets fly free with reckless abandon! All the sudden the nutty naked Vampire Cortez super leaps on to the windshield of the helicopter with a deranged menacing stare. The red radiation of his eyes was so beyond bright that it lit up our dark cockpit.  We could hear his spine tingling otherworldly growling coming from his fang ridden mouth. He immediately punched through the windshield, and grabbed me by the neck. Hunter struggled to keep the chopper in the air as the rest of the team came to my aid!  He ripped my throat clean out as Drake, and Rebecca dragged him in.  Rebecca whaled in agony,”You killed my boyfriend you damn filthy bastard!”  She started choking him as Drake helped hold him down with one hand while going for a stake with another.  Our teenage bionic boy wonder Zack Powers, and the young vampire slayer, along with Seth, was helping hold him down but he eventually launched everyone off into control panels damaging them.

The alarm bells sounded as Hunter had no choice but to land the Mysticopter! I was totally dead in the pilot’s seat as everyone attempted to fight off the crazed Cortez.  Hunter got out of the chopper with his machine gun to finish off the remaining vampires who were running toward us! Thankfully a naked Duanna came running out of the flaming mansion. Although she was sliced up quite a bit from the Crocs!  Everyone was completely tuckered out, and bloody battling Cortez. He was about to finish everyone off when he spun around, and smiled at Duana who smiled back.  His grin turned to grimace as she held his tiny black heart in her hands before his very startled eyes!. She had plunged her hand through his rib cage, and scooped his heart out. He uttered his final words,”You bitch!” just as she squeezed it to dust in her hands! He briefly burst into flames before turning to a pile of ash that blew out into the compound yard as nothing more than dust in the wayward wind!

Drake carried me out, and sat me on the lawn. As he, and Duanna both bit into their wrists letting their healing vampire blood drip upon my absent throat. Duanna worryingly said,”It might not be enough!”  Rebecca then took a pouch of healing herbs out, and sprinkled it on the blood as well. She then recited an incantation,”Oh harmonious Hygieia Goddess of healing I call unto thee to repair the ravages of darkness upon the one I love! I humbly implore you to let your medicinal magic manifest through me with care!”  The blood, and herbs shimmered red, white, and pink causing my throat to reform.  I woke up coughing rather heavily but I was alive, and well! Some would think I’d be transformed into a vampire but one must have their blood almost completely drained, and thankfully mine wasn’t. Also the magic intermingled might have stopped such a transformation as well. I’m not sure how I’d feel about becoming the Vampire Xavier Remington!

The mansion blaze was the biggest fire I had ever seen as we could hear fire, and police sirens in the distance.  We all scrambled back into the Mysticopter but it waned as we tried to lift her off the ground.  Zack Powers did some of his computer wizardry, and actually interfaced his bionic circuits into the helicopter’s controls. It lifted up as the authorities arrived.  We were about to be spotted so Hunter took a chance, and hit the experimental mach speed button.  We flashed away with a sonic boom into the dark night leaving behind vampire ash, and a wall of orange flames along with flashing red, and blue lights.

Back at Mystic Investigations Headquarters Duanna, now clothed, informed us that Cortez was never able to psychically contact any vampires outside the compound due toKeanu Reeves being so enraged by our attack!  We contacted our friend Sheriff Blake Maverick to get the Vampire Cortez’s human captives medical attention, and transport to their homes. Thankfully most of them were in a vampire feeding induced mental haze. As it wore off they forgot about everything including the vampires! Fred was watching a movie in our VIP lounge, and we reassured him that he was safe to live out his immortal life. However he would eventually face various dangers both supernatural, and otherwise. He needed a wise mentor who had lived for centuries surviving all manner of threats.  We had called our good friend the Immortal Keanu Reeves about this matter. In fact he was prepared to join us in battle but pressing matters prevented him from arriving in time.  Although as we entered the cafeteria for a well deserved post-battle dinner he walked from the shadows of the vending machines smiling.  We all laughed at how excited Fred was as he gushed all over Keanu with gargantuan glee. LOL!

Keanu joined us for dinner as he explained to Fred that he would now be under his protection as he taught him the ways of being an Immortal in between movie shoots. Keanu was even kind enough to give a pint of his blood to Drake, and Duanna who said it was the best blood they ever had!  We had all manner of food pre-cooked, and ready to heat up quickly since we’re always beyond hungry after a supernatural battle! An hour later the young vampire slayers mother ran in with tears of joy in her eyes as she embraced her daughter. She joined us in our celebration as well, and we spoke of working with her in the future. Some hours later Keanu took Fred to his house to pack before hopping a private jet to parts unknown.  The rest of us ended up going home during the Witching Hour.

That night as we all slept soundly in our respective beds we noted that we woke up in terror at exactly 3:00 AM, The Devil’s Hour! Just before we awoke we all had the same vexing vision of the Vampire Dracula! I’m sure it was just a coincidence!

Also Read How The Vampire Drake Alexander Met The Immortal Keanu Reeves!

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The Kook And Zombie Attack!

Kook PatrolIt was about 2:15 PM Friday afternoon at Mystic Investigations headquarters as we went about our supernatural business. Everyone was looking forward to the fun filled weekend! Except those of us who choose to sacrifice our personal time to patrol the community, and rid it of any metaphysical menaces. Most of our executives were out on paranormal investigations including our most powerful team members that included a Demi-Mermaid Witch, a telekinetic psychic, a human form werewolf, and an Ex-Navy Seal. Our vampire Executive VP was working from home. All was quiet, the way I like it, when all the sudden a crazy chubby guy bursts into our sunny lobby. He was sweating profusely even though he was wearing a rather thin Batman t-shirt, and plaid shorts.  The weirdo was on his cell phone screaming about not wanting to be committed to the funny farm.  Our receptionist Barb Gerber was frozen in fear as he came flying at her with a wild look in his deranged eyes. He bellowed,”Somebody help me! They’re after me! I don’t want to go to the looney bin!”  He was so loud that most of us working upstairs heard the commotion.  As President of Mystic Investigations I immediately sprung into action, and bolted from my office to the 2nd floor balcony looking down into the lobby. The rest of the employees upstairs came running up behind me.

The kook was now frantically grabbing at Barb who pushed the panic alarm that proceeded to wail throughout our entire facility complete with flashing red light.  This also triggered sensitive areas to automatically be locked down. He whined loudly,”They’re going to put me in a straight jacket in the cuckoo house!  For the love of God please help me!” I don’t want to go to the rubber room!” He then screamed into the phone,”F*ck you bastards! I’ll die before I go to your hell hole!” He launched the phone at the wall, and it smashed into 1000 pieces as other employees on the first floor cautiously peered from two entrances into the lobby. I had seen enough of this insanity, and leaped over the balcony landing on my feet in the lobby as I have extensive training in Ninjutsu acrobatics!  I grabbed the bastards arm, and spun him around to give the old school Liam Neeson “Taken” style throat chop.  The chubby fool fell to the floor holding his throat now sobbing, and coughing profusely. I then calmly announced,”Okay folks everyone back to work! Nothing to see here! Everything is okay!”

Doctor Ashley Abercrombie, our Demi-Zombie Cryptozoologist, emerged from her basement laboratory after hearing the alarm.  She asked if everything was okay, and I pointed to the man lying on the floor still crying, and gagging.  I then said,”Yeah this nut burger needs a sedative or something!” I chuckled a bit as I spoke to the guy,”Hey pal just shake it off. It’s not that bad!” I exclaimed to Ashley,”I think he’s just over exaggerating! It was just a light tap to the throat area.”  She examined his neck, and was about to take a syringe from her lab jacket when four muscular men in white came in.  They looked like orderly’s from a mental institution.  The approached me, and said,”Ah there’s the bastard! He got away from us!” as they pointed to the wacko. They all smirked a bit, and flashed a paper while saying,”We got commitment orders for this guy. Looks like you saved us the trouble of sedating him.”  We all laughed lightly as Ashley stated,”I was just actually about to administer a sedative.”  The man in white asked,”Are you a Doctor?” Ashley stated she was licensed to practice medicine in Colorado so they allowed her to give the man a much needed sedative. He quickly calmed down, and was only lightly sobbing, and coughing every so often now. The man in white then said,”Okay we’ll take this loon off your hands. Do you need any statement for the police?” I replied,”Nah it’s not even worth the trouble to call them. Just give this poor bastard the help he so desperately needs” The man answered,”Oh we will Sir! Thanks for containing this menace to society!”  I responded,”Ah don’t mention it. The day was kind of boring until this happened.”

Two of the men grabbed the now calm mental patient by each arm as he shuffled barely able to walk under the influence of the sedative.  Ashley suddenly questioned them as they neared the front door, “Are you taking him to the Shadowbrook Institute?”  The man in white turned around smiling,”Yeah Miss! We’ll take good care of him there! Thanks for your help!” Ashley then forceful declared,”That’s odd since Shadowbrook closed three years ago!” I then yelled,”Hey wait a minute! Let me see those commitment papers again!”  All the men dashed for the door but I whipped out my remote security control to lock it.  Now trapped within they all turned around no longer smiling as one said,”Damn you just had to stick your nose where it didn’t belong!”  The chubby guy turned around crying while silently pleading,”Please help me.”

The head thug in white pulled out a handgun and fired point blank at me!  Ashley leaped in front of me taking the slug like a trooper.  Naturally she’s half zombie, and can’t be killed by a simple bullet. Just as she fell to the floor I speedily front hand sprung toward the gun totting bastard, and kicked the gun from his hand as I took on all four of the hefty men in white.  The chubby guy fell to the floor like a helpless slug while Ashley appeared dead. Soon she would self-resurrect as per the power of her unique stable zombie DNA.  A number of employees had fled the building upon hearing the alarm, and the rest who remained were just office workers with no fighting skill or supernatural field experience so I was on my own.  Barb the receptionist quickly dialed the police as I battled the rather large men utilizing not only my Ninjutsu skills but also my extensive Kung Fu skills. Humans can never learn enough martial arts when facing paranormal beings with superpowers on a weekly basis!

The other men attempted to pull out their guns but my lightning quick blows disarmed them with the guns kicked under furniture, and behind large potted plants in the warm sun drenched lobby.  Finally three of the men were on the ground attempting to recover from precision punches, and kicks but one snuck up behind me!  The bastard put me in a chokehold as he sarcastically whispered in my ear,”Don’t fight it jackass! Don’t fight it!” Another thug got up, and began belting me in the face, and stomach while laughing maniacally. Some of the employees attempted to help me but they were immediately swatted away by the other two who staggered up. Ashley sprung up from the floor right behind the man who had me in the chokehold. She bit a huge chunk of flesh out of his neck despite fighting the zombie urge to eat human flesh her entire life.  Blood spurted everywhere as the man screamed in terror now infected with the zombie virus!  I was nearly passed out and collapsed to the floor. The other three men just stood scared with looks of sheer horror on their faces.  Ashley’s eyes turned an ominous inhuman gray, almost silver, color that reflected the sunlight in an other worldly manner. She stood at the foot of the now fallen man in white, and blood stained clothing.  He gripped his neck making a gurgling sound as he coughed up blood.  Ashley menacingly walked slowly toward the terrified men, and one said,”She’s just a little crazy bitch! We can take her!”

One of the employees barfed at the sight of the bloody carnage as Ashley attacked the rest of the men in a zombie induced rampage. Her gutteral growling sent chills up everyone’s spines! Virtually everyone including Barb, the Receptionist, fled the building out the back screaming at the sight of a live horror movie taking place before their very eyes! The entire lobby was literally sprayed with nauseating blood to the point that the windows were now filtering sunlight in with a crimson tint!  The distinctive metallic scent of blood wafted through the air like a slaughterhouse! Ashley seriously lost control for the first time in her life.  Plausibly a combination of being shot, the danger & adrenaline rush of the situation, and a complete denial of her cannibalistic hunger!  I got to my feet, and ordered Ashley to stop but it was too late. All four men were dead, and she was about to go after the poor chubby guy lying in the corner! I yelled,”Ashley snap out of this zombie crap!” as I slapped her hard in the face! She growled, and lunged at me! I was shocked as she was always the most calm, and logical member of our supernatural crime fighting team. I had no wish to acquire the zombie virus so I fled the lobby, and used my remote to close the steel emergency containment doors trapping her within.  I had mere seconds before she reset her sights on the helpless chubby guy. I quickly entered a secret doorway behind the bookshelf leading to an extensive set of hidden corridors in our facility. I came out a secret door behind her, and pulled the chubster in with me.  She spun around, and ran toward us but the door was safely locked. I could hear her growling, and clawing at it like a wild maniac!

I immediately ordered the complete evacuation of the facility while calling the executives back to headquarters.  Unfortunately the Woodland Springs Police arrived just then, and I had no idea how I was going to explain my zombie situation along with a lobby full of slaughtered men! I called my friend Sheriff Blake Maverick who knew about the real world of the supernatural, and thankfully he declared jurisdiction over the police ordering them to leave. Our Senior Vice-President, and Demi-Mermaid Witch Rebecca Abernathy was the first to arrive flying down from the sky in her Mystic Sphere energy bubble.  She landed discretely in the back of our facility within the woods.  She came running up through the shocked employees milling around out back unsure what to do next. Once inside I apprised Rebecca of the situation, and she immediately mixed up a potion of Stinking Nightshade, and Purple Passion. Both are known zombie repellants that should theoretically return Ashley to her right mind. In essence repelling her zombie half so her human half could take control again.  From the balcony above Rebecca launched a large balloon filled with the stuff down to the lobby below as Ashley looked up at us snarling at us while sending shivers throughout our body with her dead cold eyes! The balloon burst near her, and the entire area smelled like hell itself!

Ashley passed out for a minute or so before awakening now alarmingly aware at what she’d done. She started crying,”Oh my God what have I done?”  I lifted the security doors, and we entered the blood stained lobby. I reassured Ashley these men were evil murderers, and it was self-defense.  Rebecca took her home to watch over her the next few days after this unfortunate zombie episode. I also sent everyone home for the day, and told them this was just a drill. Nothing had actually happened. It was all a special effects act to see how they’d react to a horrifying incident. Most of them seemed to buy it as they usually did.  Especially when the Sheriff reassured them my story was true.  I kept the chubby guy sedated in our secret panic room until we were ready to deal with him, and figure out what was going on here.

zombieaccidentFirstly we had to clean up mess in the lobby. I called in our team of Supernatural Crime Scene Cleaning Specialists to dispose of the zombie virus infected corpses, and wipe down the bloody lobby. A complete metaphysical deodorization to eradicate the wretched stink of the zombie repellent potion! Their efficient work returned things to normal by the end of the business day. Meanwhile in the employee lounge I sighed as I crossed out the 3 on the laminated safety poster, and wrote 0.  “0 Days Without A Lost Time Accident. The Previous Record Was 7 Days!” Ah yes the hazards of working at a top flight supernatural investigative crime fighting firm!

Our executive team fed the chubby guy, and gave him a fresh set of clothes. He informed us that his name was Fred Jacobson. I remorsefully apologized to Fred for throat chopping him.  A now calm, and rational Fred said he understood it had to be done. We quickly ran a background check, and interviewed him along with searching the white van the four thugs had pulled up in. Our Psychic Julia Hathaway also read Fred’s mind as well. Once our Executive VP the Vampire Drake Alexander arrived the final piece of the puzzle came together as he detected a very distinctive aroma in Fred’s blood. What we discovered was a sinister plot to harvest Fred’s unique blood since it seems that this nutty overweight guy was in fact unknowingly an Immortal.  The type of human Immortal born by evolutionary fluke every so often as is the case with the most famous of his kind. The actor Keanu Reeves who we personally know. It seems Fred’s blood test at the local blood bank set off secret spyware in the computer system which then sent an automated message to a powerful vampire in Colorado Springs. Vampires relish in certain supernatural bloods. Especially human Immortals!  The four thugs were the associates of the notoriously murderous Vampire Cortez!

Continued In Part 2: The Vampire Cortez!